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I always say “flock of cows” to bait someone into saying “herd of cows” so that I can say “of course I’ve heard of cows!” Watching their faces is priceless.
I do this from time to time but with bison. I will casually slip “flock of bison” into a conversation hoping someone corrects me to “herd of bison”. So I can say. “No I hadn’t heard about your bi son. You must be so proud.”
there’s a chance the flock of cows would just pass me by unnoticed as i wrangle the conversation in my head and then hours later i realize something off about it in the shower or in bed
I use school of deer when spotting deer and things like herd, pod or flock of fish while fishing.
In my language, there’s different words for body parts of animals versus humans. Like “paws” and “hands”. There’s one exception: horses should use the human words. I always use the animal form just to have people correct me
Thank you for the new material to annoy my fiancé with every time we see cows.
As someone who used to work in retail, if I’m ever caught saying “guess it’s free then,” I sincerely hope everyone in the store immediately stops what they’re doing to form an orderly line to take turns slapping the piss out of me.
“Nope, actually means it’s not for sale. Sorry.”
The shocked pikachu face they make is fucking priceless
In my experience, they usually take the counter-dad joke in stride, and we move on (sometimes they do make an obviously exaggerated expression as part of the joke). I’m probably an outlier, but I’ve always found “that means it’s free” quaint if just really trite; it’s just trying to be friendly and make my monotonous day a little more fun, and I understand from their perspective that it isn’t conspicuously overused. So I take the joke for its intent (I’ve never seen it used seriously, and imagining a remotely sane human being doing so strains credulity) instead of its actual novelty or cleverness. I will never make it because it’s so worn-out and I know it’ll make most people in retail groan, but I don’t begrudge people who do, since I’ve never seen it used in a sincerely harassing, negative way.
I used to just say, “If you can run fast enough. I don’t know if I’d chance it though… Tony’s working today.”
I’m right there with you! That was the only one that I refuse to do!
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Ouch… 18/20
Edit: They forgot the mandatory clicking of the tongs after picking them up.
They forgot the mandatory clicking of the tongs after picking them up.
That’s because that’s an everyone thing, not just dads. I have done this since I was old enough to hold them.
Of course. Makes the food taste better.
(I do that with the table marker things at Chick-Fil-A too…)
I WOULD do it, but my tongs are silicone-coated (for air fryer removal)
And don’t forget the requirement to pull the button two to three times immediately after picking up a power drill.
I thought about this recently and it does make sense. You’ve gotta test the spring so you can use the right amount of force
The last one requires you to pat the load three times or the magic doesn’t work.
Alternatively, you can pull back and snap the strap/cord.
Fuck, I only pat it twice.
I feel personally attacked
8, and I’m a woman without children 🤔
Sure thing. I know its you dad
Keep practicing, get those numbers up, and next thing you know, you’ll have a wife and two offspring!
13, also no children.
Spiritually dad-like ✨
You’re a faux pas
How dad are you?
No, it’s “dad, how are you?”
Bonus point
This homey unlocked the extra credit
Before I was a dad, I would say a lot of these ironically, fully aware of and referencing the cliche. Now, they’re just part of me.
That’s how they getcha.
Excellent!
¡Excelente!
I like to yell “HEY!” and point at a field full of hay bales. The wife almost always looks briefly concerned until she sees it, and then gives me the “a-doy” look. I think she secretly loves it though.
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Or give their noggin a tap when you see a “bump a head” sign
Mooing at cows isn’t on this string of thought, but it’s still fun
Me, in the middle of tying my shibari bottom: “That’s not going anywhere.”
Does “look, cows” count?
Yes, but the real dad thing is to say that when you see horses, and say “look, horses” when there are cows.
One time I saw horses and got really excited but forgot the word for them so I excitedly yelled “PUPPIES!”
My family never let me live that down. It’s been over 5 years now, and they still tease me by saying “look, Mom, puppies!” while pointing at horses.
This is a great story coming from the person that runs most animal communities on Lemmy lmao
I was trying to cajole my oldest into accompanying me to brush his teeth or something, and tried to say two things at once: “C’mon, my bud!” and “C’mon, my chum!” (I’m a firm believer that using unusual language helps them develop. And it’s fun!)
Unfortunately, saying them both came out as “C’mon, my bum!” He was three, and still remembers it…
Oh. I am fully dad.
Hi fully dad, I’m sudoMakeUser
Nothing about a lot of grocery bags and exactly one walk?
I am quite surprised how many Lemmy users have such high scores on the dadness meter.
I am dad of two and I perceive myself as a pretty square, but I have near to 0 points.
Hi "quite surprised how many Lemmy users have such high scores on the dadness meter.
I am dad of two and I perceive myself as a pretty square, but I have near to 0 points."
I’m dad!
You are a disappointment to all dads and kids, clearly.
Lower than I thought, but still higher than I’d care to admit.
