HR
My chest hair isn’t glorious enough.
Notice we never saw him topless again after the beard…
I can count the number of chest hairs I have … I have one that continually grows to an inch in length right next to my left nipple … I call him Larry
Shame
My wife
Local authorities.
General public
Cultural norms, in part, but mostly? Because I’d look [more] terrible.
I’m not Riker.
Because I live in the part of the world where I would get frost bite for six months of the year if I exposed my skin … and the other six months of being eaten alive by mosquitoes and insects if I exposed my skin.
I’m Indigenous and there’s a reason why my face and hands are tanned and the rest of my body is white as any sun starved Scandinavian.
Work policy
Looks like it would slip off my shoulder
If you dress like that and got that amount of swagger, you’re not getting anything done. There’s gonna be various holes with various levels of suction attempting to attach to you all the live long day.
I got shit to do and am not ready for that lifestyle.
Self awareness
I can’t get my leg over the back of a chair.
My nipple would get chilly
Just squeeze them periodically … or get someone else to do it for you
*It
My beard.
