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Having The Doctor at the top is a little strange, because hanging with the doctor could very well mean your death, but it will be worth it.
I would put him the same level as an abusive husband he will probably protect you with his life but you will suffer every moment you are with him and he will eventually be the cause of your death.
And does he actually have no formal training? You’d think at some stretch of his life he actually became accredited somewhere. Possible on multiple planets.
For reference on the no training side:
Dr. Dre and Dr. Venture: Both possess honorary doctorates. The former from UCLA, the latter from a Tijuana community college.
Dr. Pepper: Charles T. Pepper did have a medical doctorate. He is cited as a possible source of the name.
Dr. Evil: Evil medical school.
Zoidberg: Claims he lost it in a volcano, more likely a art history degree.
Dr. Horrible: Likely physics though he claims Horribleness (though it could be a catchphrase.)
Dr. Seuss: Intended to get a Doctorate of Philosophy, got an honorary doctorate of Humane Letters.
The Doctor: Per This - While pretending to be the Doctor in an effort to save herself from an army of Cybermen, one of the planet’s deadliest enemies, in Death in Heaven, Clara said: ‘I don’t even really have a doctorate. Well Glasgow University, but then I accidentally graduated in the wrong century.’
Doc: Does become a doctor at Storybrooke hospital in a live action show, “Once Upon a Time”, apparently not a surgeon though.
Spin Doctors: No doctors.I feel like a fair amount of those on the trained side aren’t medical doctors (Phil, Ock, Robotnik, Lector, Honeydew) or at the very least, aren’t folks you’d want around for your heart attack.
Dr. Pepper: Charles T. Pepper did have a medical doctorate. He is cited as a possible source of the name.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Charles_T._Pepper#/media/File:Dr_Pepper_trade_mark_1910.jpg
“Dr Pepper the King of beverages”
jeez, way to gild the lilly. Pick one , either Doctor or King, there’s no need to be an audacious Dr King.
“It’s the MLK Jr. of beverages!”
(FBI agents hate it.)
Isn’t/wasn’t Dr. Strange a surgeon?
yes, but his hands broke in an accident. Not sure how good he is with his hands on medical equipment/psychically controlling medical tools
I thought he willed himself back to full dexterity, but I also didn’t really pay attention to the movie, to be fair.
He learned to magic because he thought it would let him fix his hands. Instead he learned the guy who he thought fixed his legs with magic just uses magic to control his non-functional legs.
So he probably could do surgery but he’d probably magically control the needle instead of holding it or something. Maybe.
Dr. Robotnik is more trustworthy than Phil tbh, but I suppose context matters.
He’ll amputate your limbs but replace them with fairly functional robot parts?
Phil is less likely to outright kill you himself.
No but he would try to scam and gaslight me or exploit me in some other manner. If the setting is a regular checkup I’ll trust Robotnik more. Ah, but the chart explicitly says trusting life with and not livelihood so I guess you’ve got me there.
Zoidberg should be lower.
Nonsense! Zoidberg’s a fine physician. For Aliens. Your mistake is being human!
Ok. Touché
He’s got future technology, though.
I love how he’s the only one not called Dr. On this chart.
He has a doctorate in art, I believe
I’d gladly trust drinking a Dr pepper over anything to do with Dr Phil or Dr oz
I don’t even like Dr Pepper and I’d rather drink a six pack than watch either of those assholes.
THANK YOU. Why is Dr. Pepper the absolute lowest you can go on this chart, lower than Dr. Evil lol
Dr Oz and Dr Phil are not doctors and should be to the left and south of Dr Pepper. Neither has a license and both are so full of shit their advice has probably killed people.
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Oz is a Doctor, and was a very good one who got corrupted in his aim for fame and fortune. Part of his tragedy is that if he’d shut up and just do his actual doctor work only he’d be a benefit to society, not the detriment he is now. It’s important to know that he’s worse because he had actual skill as a heart surgeon. Quoting wiki:
In 1982, he received his undergraduate degree in biology magna cum laude[3] at Harvard University.[31] … In 1986, he obtained MD and MBA degrees from the University of Pennsylvania School of Medicine[30] and Penn’s Wharton School.[34][35]
Edit: also, as far as I can tell, still performing heart surgeries, so should still be licensed. Still a piece of shit who should stick to surgeries. Lots of people good at 1 thing think they’re geniuses at everything.
After hearing the pure stupidity that comes out of his mouth I wouldn’t let that fruitcake supplement salesman near me.
How in the heckin’ is JD below a dwarf, a mad scientist tinkerer, and a random catchy band?
He is a caring, trained, and competent doctor who will put his pride and personal life aside to help a patient.
At some points he’s arguably the best diagnostician at Sacred Heard.
But he did put a penny in the door.
But not intentionally
That’s always the excuse, isn’t it?
He arrived late to thank his trashmen, ended up letting a patient die.
He wasn’t to blame, though he easily could’ve been. That was death was the radiologist’s fault though, IIRC.
Given the same medical technology I would place JD the highest and furthest right.
Not just because I like the character but because he truly does give a shit about his patients.
Dr. Strange should have more formal training for his surgery specialty. Did JD specialize or did he just stay in internal medicine?
Dr. Strange, if he’s practicing medicine, might decide not to try and save you (he was a neurosurgeon IiRC) because it would hurt his stats.
JD would try.
I honestly can’t recall if JD specialised.
But that’s the Y axis. Training is on the X. As a neurosurgeon, he’s had at least 2 more years of training than JD, possibly a lot more.
I don’t know if Dr. Strange would technically be lower because he hasn’t been practicing for a long time? But I see what you mean.
Internal medicine, and then eventually started teaching medical school classes too. Yes, I did watch the shitty Scrubs final season reboot.
So Dr. Strange is trained in neurosurgery, which is a 7 year residency compared to 3-4 years for internal medicine. He may have also done a neurosurgery fellowship for 2 years.
He definitely should be higher than J.D. if we’re going just by special issues. I would rather have him overseeing my brain surgery than J.D.
But if I was in the hospital for a more common ailment, I’ll take an expert in internal medicine over a neurosurgeon.
In fact, if I was in the hospital for, for example, getting poisoned by something and no one can figure out what, I’d pick an expert in internal medicine over a neurosurgeon.
JD should definitely be higher than Strange on the Y axis. He cares way more for his patients.
He’s too easily distracted by seeing Tirk.
*u
I wasn’t really sure on how he spelled it. I didn’t want to associate him with The Shinra.
Dr. Zoidberg is a fully-qualified medical doctor, though, and a good one at that. Just not for humans. Even so, he’s quite good, given that he hasn’t killed any of his human patients, though they may come out a little different.
As is Doctor Who, who has high qualifications in literally everything. It took them a few goes, but they got there in the end.
“I’ve probably lost more patients than he’s ever treated.”
Didn’t Zoidberg once successfully attach Fry’s head to Amy’s body (or something like that)? Not sure any of the others on that chart have done something that impressive.
That said, how much do you trust your life with Dr. Who? I’ve seen many characters die while trusting him, and that’s just the ones on screen.
I’m not saying he is a bad doctor, but he was caught on film losing several sidekicks/ allies. If you’re caught on film doing something, you probably do it a lot.
“If you get caught doing crack on the news, you are a crackhead. It’s not like a “oh this was just the one time” situation. You do it enough you get caught on the news doing it.” -Josh Johnson
Edit: just looked for an answer of what the mortality rate is for the Doctor and it’s 42% according to a reddit question. At some point the authorities would be called in because 42% is more than just a “licence revoked” number.
NPH making the list TWICE!? Truly we live in the best timeline.
In opposing corners no less
This Dr. Pepper libel will not stand.
Hear hear!
Top right corner, there’s a Collage Humor watermark.
It explains why this is so inaccurate
I would trust J.D. with my life way over Dr. Seuss.
J.D. is a fool, but he’s also a really good doctor.
Depends on which season. Are you extrapolating current JD? Or can we pick season 1 JD, where he has a lot of knowledge, but very little experience, and wasn’t a very good doctor yet?
SO’S YOUR FACE!
He’s also not a racist!
Of course not! He’s Vanilla Bear to Turk’s Chocolate Bear!
(We don’t discuss Caramel Bear.)
Doctor Evil didn’t go to Evil Medical School for six years to be put in the section with no training, thank you very much!
No Dr. House?
And Oz should be right on top of the Run For Your Life because he’s not fictional and should know better.
Dr. Oz and Dr. Phil have done far more harm than Dr. Pepper could ever aspire to.
I would trust Hannibal Lector more than Oz, frankly.
At least Lecter is honest about who he is!
House is basically overlapping McCoy
Astoundly, McCoy has a better bedside manner.
I don’t think McCoy is ever depicted as particularly brilliant. He’s just a competent doctor from a time with more advanced technology.
I don’t know, he came up with novel cures for things multiple times on planets never before visited. He did it in Miri despite the virus being completely novel.
