I could pet 3 isopods

You win a free trip to the Hague

He calls 'em like he sees 'em.

I watched it and it scares me only because of how many people didn’t notice or care that Biden was the only one saying anything of substance up there.

Have you tried giving it a handjob?

I always thought Klingon hair was more 80s

Maybe they’re more into endosymbiotic nitrogen-fixing organelles

Fuck yeah, give me some of those fantasy cheese wheels

About 10 years ago someone actually burned to death from static discharge at a gas pump like 2 miles down the road from my house. It’s extremely rare, but it does happen.

Captain Buck Angel

turns around, secretly reaches into pocket and retrieves a brand new tomato

A-ha! The first tomato grown in space, which I definitely didn’t lose, was here this whole time!

Shame we never got to see the NX-01 with a star drive section

Count to four

At my old job they had these kiosks that had a printer and would beep when they were out of paper. One of them beeped at a low pitch for some reason. It always reminded me of old computer games

How to math:

1. Be expected to somehow already know 50,000 trigonometric identities
2. Cry

At least his eyes point in the same direction

I’ve noticed the same thing with cool ranch Doritos. A while back they seem to have realized they went too far making them practically naked. They were heavily seasoned for several months but now it seems like the level of seasoning has been creeping down again. No idea why they single out that one flavor. Does it have silver in it, or something?

From what I understand, you are always travelling at the speed of light through space/time, but when you move at high speeds through space that shifts the proportion of your speed out of the time dimension. And a photon travels only through space, experiencing no time between the time it was emitted and the time it was absorbed. What I just can’t wrap my head around is the concept of travelling at some speed without involving the time dimension at all.