I poured spot remover on my dog. Now he’s gone.

–Stephen Wright

I read an interview with a zoologist which described cats as evolutionarily perfect. Their dna really only varies primarily for size. All cats all over the world have survived with no need to seriously adapt to their environment.

Almost. The Packers are a non-profit entity.

Fake.

Rudie can’t whale.

Have fun

Delta you say?

I once did it because chef told me I had to cut more green peppers.

Absolutely. I saw them back in the day. A+ performance.

I don’t know what it goes for now but somehow the price of LSD stayed the same for at least 30 years.

Well, she’s not dead yet so that’s a good sign.

It’s science.

New York figured it out. Behold the egg cream: milk, seltzer, chocolate syrup. It’s delicious.

This is the first joke on this community that actually made me laugh. Congratulations.

Also, The United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland. That’s a lot of r’s.