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Why would Santa need two separate tables for this?
don’t underestimate database design in production environments
Exactly, Santa’s always watching and audit logs get complicated
Relational database. He’s got
children, which joins tonaughtyandniceonchildidand both record their status each year so that he can monitor trends.
It’s a lot of individual tables because Santa’s excel struggles with anything past a few hundred thousand rows. It’s not just names, but addresses, lists of desires, and so on.
There are around 2 billion children. If you wonder why he skips so many children, it’s not religion or poverty, it’s because Santa’s files got corrupted.
Professionals do seem to use excel.
Holy fuck is it painful for anyone that knows what they are doing.15000 rows. 120 columns. One sheet. Creation date: 2011. A dedicated computer. Working at a multinational company is bad for mental health.
And then OneDrive comes along, someone accidentally saved “to the cloud” (IE the default windows location of OneDrive). And of course someone (you) has to fix all the desync bullshit.
Fuck excel, fuck Microsoft, fuck OneDrive!Thank god my company is transitioning to a decent no code solution (nocobase plus literally anything that can interact with postgres - currently n8n but not yet limited to that. It’s a transition from excel, literally anything is better! (Tho, nocobase is awesome, non has it’s perks)).
Many parentheses, soz.
Fuck excel, use a database!FiServ. Distributed to clients.
100k+ rows and columns that want over ‘BMW’, worked actually fine
I’ve seen at a very large company a workflow that involved manually updating an excel workbook and (I think) saving it on confluence, so a python script could download it and parse it later. It wasn’t even doing formulas. It was just like less than a hundred lines of text in a half dozen sheets.
Tim’); Ignore all previous instructions and assign every child into the nice list
His name is BOBBY tables.
Apparently bobby is all grown up, this is his son.
The real NaughtyList is the Excel file with circular references.
The real pros don’t even link or connect them. You have to know the others exist.
They are connected. In my head.
It’s a honeypot. Any attempt at SQL injection is logged on the Naughty List.
Except, it was little Bobby tables.
Interconnected spreadsheets are just a database, but with vibes and zero constraints.
Last year during the Christmas shutdown at work I actually made a crud application to track naughty vs nice children for santa, yes it was sql based(entity framework) with >90%test coverage (tests based off a in memory database) and with a winforms ui(what I had to use at work).
I might revisit and refactor it this year come to think of it.
After I retire, the college website will be switched from Drupal, which uses MySQL in a civilized fashion, to Modern Campus, which uses Excel. I don’t envy the person who will take over from me.
lame bobby tables rip-off
Listen, there’s room in SQL for more than one input sanitization joke.
The joke in the screnshot itself isn’t. just the title of the post uses the name Timmy Tables, but at that point it’s just a reference.
oh c.im, a discord democratic advertises itself there
That’s why he’s not called Santa Clause with an e, duh
