> be me
> greek philosopher
> love wisdom
> realize eating animals is kinda fucked up
> go veg
> “oh yeah well what about protein dumbass?”
> plebs forgot one thing
> BEANS
> eat beans nonstop
> all beans all the time
> beans beans beans
> everything starts to smell like beans
> breath smells like beans
> farts smell like beanspff w/e this is wise af
> fap to own wisdom
> cum smells like beansFellow philosophers, I have just concluded a series of rigorous scientific experiments…
MOTHERFUCKER DIED FOR BEANS
https://philosophynow.org/issues/78/The_Death_of_Pythagoras
Although the death of Pythagoras hinges midway between myth and history, it hung on the weightiness of a mere bean. Whether lima, pinto, or fava was never recorded, but Pythagoras died for that bean. It was a bean which contained within it a new view of the cosmos which would infiltrate the crevices of people’s beliefs, insinuating itself into the world and persisting for more than a millennium.
[…]
There were many rules to follow if you were to be accepted into the Pythagorean Brotherhood. Fail in any of these and you were likely to be cast out from them with great ceremony. A mock funeral would be performed and you would no longer exist in the minds of the Brotherhood. One rule that could never be broken was the edict to refrain from eating beans. This stemmed partially from the Pythagorean precept that each person should strive for tranquillity and peace, savoring the harmony which mirrored the harmony of the heavens, the outer boundaries of the universe. But eat a plateful of beans and see what this brings you! The gurgling and squeezings of your intestines becomes anything but tranquil. Further, one Pythagorean goal was to purify the body and psyche so that one could return to the sun and rise even beyond the sun to the stars and the Milky Way, for which purification beans were counterproductive. But there was a deeper reason for omitting beans from the diet. It was believed that to eat a bean was akin to eating human flesh.
[…]
Suddenly Pythagoras came to a stop. A vast bean field stretched before him. He stood frozen, uncertain what to do. His eyes focused on a single bean dangling inches from his papyrus- covered feet. So true was he to his ideals that, even at the risk of losing his own life, he was unwilling to trample upon even a single bean. Staring down upon that vibrant bean, the sun low in the sky, he imagined it to be blossoming into a divine ripeness before him. And as he stood there, hesitating, contemplating his next move, his pursuers caught up with him. They lifted their weapons, and bringing the knifes down hard, spilled Pythagoras’ blood on the plants – ending his life for the sake of a bean, and for the deep wisdom immersed in that diminutive cosmic object.
I’d die for a bean yaknowwhatI’msaying
Pythagoras what a weird dude.
“Im not going into that field of jizz even if it kills me”
Patron saint of the lemmyverse
A real human bean?
And a real hero
We share 70% of our DNA with an onion, some people more
We found Shrek.
They’re the ones that make you cry easily
Typical teen: “What?? No mom, I just crushed some beans earlier, I swear!”
I have a kid I sometimes call “Little Bean” as a term of endearment.
This is not what I meant.
He also believed your soul carries on after death and enters a new body, possibly even an animal’s.
The story that he was killed because he refused to run away through a field of beans is probably fake. There’s a trope of ancient philosophers getting ironic deaths:
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Archimedes being killed because he was absorbed in his geometry (he told the attacking soldier “don’t disturb my circles!”)
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Diogenes was notorious for rejecting social norms and acting dog-like. “Cynic” comes from the Greek word for “dog”. He died of food poisoning after eating raw octopus, showing you can’t really live like a dog.
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I fear that this is where Lemmy and Pythagoras part ways irrevocably.
I honestly love that we’ve all agreed to misattribute this relationship of triangles to Pythagoreas, because it’s meant future generations keep learning about Greece’s greatest crackhead.
Well, Pythagoras wasn’t so wrong either, all living beeings on Earth are descendants of the first single-celled life that formed at the beginning of the Earth, also beans and humans.
Pythagoras it’s human being, not human bean!!! Silly goose!
bean
Isn’t Pythagoras also the guy who believed that farts were the soul leaving the body?
And that beans were therefore toxic and related to death.
He also died because when he was being chased, he refused to run through a bean field, trampling on the beans.
He used to also lecture by dressing like a girl, and sitting behind a curtain so that only his shadow would appear on the curtain. I love stories of ancient trans people. Yes they also believed in silly things sometimes, but they were just as intelligent and creative as we are. They were human in every way that we are today.
He’s a pseudomythical figure and you should treat stories about him about the same way you treat a story about Moses and the like
Especially because Greek “historians” just straight up loved lying to make a good story
I kind of believe it. I think before monotheism people were much more free and diverse in their thinking. They were more just natural to their own beliefs and human nature. The greeks and Egyptians loved culture. They loved to see about how other humans were living in the world. The most celebrated people in Athens for example were often travellers because everyone wanted to hear their stories from far off lands.
In modern times the culture is extremely strict. Everything from your beliefs to your clothing to who you are supposed to love, is heavily policed by the culture. I think this is the main reason you can hardly find a person anymore that has any original ideas or can think rationally, or see the bigger picture. Our DNA is degenerating.
Interesting rephrasing of the fascist concept of degenerate modernity, bro
Fascists are the most degenerate people, I’m not sure how you could possibly take that from my statement unless you literally didn’t read what I wrote.
To make it clearer, I’m saying humanity is degenerating because people are no longer free and our society rewards the wrong things, like conformity, submission to authority, duplicity, selfishness, evil politicians and giant corporations. Your average American today is voting for mass surveillance, millions of cops, and corporate finance of politics and the eraser of citizenship, brainwashing, censorship, disarming the population, giving the rich not only low taxes but access to unlimited nearly free loans that don’t even match inflation, and they still can’t make the economy good. This is what American voters vote for, they are incredibly stupid. In fact I’m going to start telling Americans how stupid they are when I see them for voting for mass surveillance and bot farms and algorithmic brainwashing, horrible economics, complete technology serfdom by having everything in their nation corporatized. I think you should tell them too. I don’t think they realize what they vote for election after election they are too distracted with the extreme fear based politics of the corporate media.
Huh, I was watching a YouTube video about the Sabians in Türkiye the other day and how they were Pythagorians who didn’t eat beans
