Mfw I turn on the selfie camera.

I can haz cheezeburger?

Who? Me?

Hello skinny hooman

“in that mere fraction of a second, regret set in as Rolf realized the zipper had snagged his beans”

You found what on my web history?!

“Hey bro, your alarm went of like, 4 times already. You’re gonna be late for work.”

Hey! Do you want to make an app? I have an idea for an app.

WE’VE BEEN TRYING TO REACH YOU ABOUT YOUR CAR’S EXTENDED WARRANTY

I can’t believe you paid for winrar

I have… Understandings

When you realise you’ve been caught in a web of your own lies.

This makes me highly uncomfortable

From afar it looks like a surprised rodent.