• @abrahambelch@programming.dev
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    8 months ago

    Don’t make the same mistake as our generation and fall for TikTok, Instagram and that shit.

    Almost everything is better without it, from concerts to weekend trips to relationships.

  • @systemglitch@lemmy.world
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    208 months ago

    If something or someone makes you feel bad, get it or them out of your life.

    Find contentment within yourself if you want a healthy relationship.

    Let go of things and don’t let your ego control you.

    • @intensely_human@lemm.ee
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      68 months ago

      BUT: differentiate between a person who makes you feel bad, and a person who makes you realize your conscience feels bad.

      Learn to differentiate challenge from raw toxicity. Generally speaking, if someone is challenging you in a healthy way, then talking about it with them results in you feeling healthier and stronger. If talking about it with them just makes you feel sick and broken, it’s probably more toxic than useful.

    • Thassodar
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      38 months ago

      Really feeling this this week, especially the first sentence.

      • @chrizzowski@lemmy.ca
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        68 months ago

        Knocking on the door of 40. I spent this week moving into my own new place after a decade of toxicity, so this one resonates with me as well.

  • @Sop@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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    448 months ago

    Middle class people often think that they’re barely getting by but forget that they live larger and more luxurious than necessary.

    • @eskimofry@lemmy.world
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      408 months ago

      Yeah but the theft of wealth from the middle class doesn’t become false because a few people live it large.

      In fact, middle class is always encouraged to live it large by 24X7 marketing by corporations.

      • @Sop@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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        108 months ago

        Of course middle class people get stolen from, but they often use their job as an excuse not to organise which is lame imo because I know a lot of people who have it worse and put in way more effort in community building

        • @intensely_human@lemm.ee
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          38 months ago

          Fuckin A man. I entered middle class briefly, for the first time in my life, by landing a coding job at six figures.

          I let myself get warped, ethically, by my desire not slip below that line again, back into struggle.

          But, fortunately for me, stepping away from the right path sapped my energy and I failed at the job and got fired. During the time I had that job my health suffered.

          Now I realized that, at least for me, the only way I can rise sustainably is if I stay in accordance with my conscience. And the way it hurt my health, it made me realize it’s actually the right move to sacrifice the money to the conscience. The good feeling is better than anything money can buy.

          I know it sounds cheesy, but it’s real for me. And honestly I feel fortunate to be weak enough that I can’t really operate in the world without that extra dopamine kick from my conscience. Like my discipline and focus aren’t great, and things fall apart when I start breaking promises and making bad ones and doing sloppy work for bad reasons, etc.

      • @intensely_human@lemm.ee
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        28 months ago

        Just because a comment contains a criticism of X group doesn’t mean it’s a condemnation of the group and thereby a repudiation of all their grievances.

    • @forgotmylastusername@lemmy.ml
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      88 months ago

      I’ve seen this play out first hand with people gradually climbing up the socioeconomic ladder as they reach middle age. They forget how things were at the lower middle class compared to the upper middle or even proper upper class.

      It gets hard to talk about these days with the social media bullshit muddying up discourse. Because people start seeing red at the mere idea of broaching this topic.

      • @MutilationWave@lemmy.world
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        58 months ago

        People also have no idea what classes mean. Someone making 40k per year and someone making 400k per year will both say they are middle class. And both would be wrong.

        • @forgotmylastusername@lemmy.ml
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          48 months ago

          They will both agree to broad idea that “rich bad” and “middle class is struggling”. Their relative suffering is what they both agree on even though they’re different.

          If the 40k person saw how the 400k person lives in real life, they would be rolling out the guillotine for the 400k dude. But without proper context online that 40k person will go to bat for the 400k person if anyone brings up the topic of lifestyle.

          The further up the scale the more luxury there is. However people work with more binary thinking. So it’s easier to point at the dudes making 1000k or more. The territory of more unfathomable weath. Really there’s a lot of excess going on way before we reach the multi-millionaire to billionaire strata.

  • @OttoVonNoob@lemmy.ca
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    928 months ago

    There’s no shame in changing your mind, there is no shame in needing help, there is no shame in self improvement, try to love yourself as a whole and work towards changing the things you don’t love.

    • @TwoBeeSan@lemmy.world
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      288 months ago

      That changing your mind is so key. Often times people attach personal value to opinions as though they’re related.

      The ego gets involved when it should fuck right off.

      • @intensely_human@lemm.ee
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        38 months ago

        Sometimes people around them don’t make it any easier. If people around a person immediately show contempt to a person who admits they were wrong, it enforces a microculture where change is going to be harder and more painful than necessary.

    • @intensely_human@lemm.ee
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      28 months ago

      You can also love the parts you’re going to change, as you change them. You don’t have to turn off the love to do surgery.

      • @captainlezbian@lemmy.world
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        18 months ago

        That’s very true. I routinely change the parts of me I love. I try to make them better. I’m a kind and loving person, but I’m trying to change that from a selfless form to a self preserving form. To know my limits and stop pouring from an empty cup.

        • @intensely_human@lemm.ee
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          18 months ago

          You can even love the parts you are saying goodbye to. Not improving, but eliminating. You never have to turn off the love at all ever for anything.

  • @communism@lemmy.ml
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    388 months ago

    Children (be they your own or unrelated children you have responsibility for) are people, not property or pets or whatever. Treat them as such. They’re just people with less experience and more vulnerability.

  • @rockSlayer@lemmy.world
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    508 months ago

    Burnout is real. Step back for a bit and return rested, instead of abandoning the fight for justice entirely. Taking breaks is just as important as being active.

  • @FuryMaker@lemmy.world
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    158 months ago

    You don’t have to have children, don’t feel pressured by friends & family.

    You don’t need to be in a relationship, don’t feel pressured by friends & family.

    Go travel. See things, eat food, drink wine, enjoy yourself.

    • Captain Poofter
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      38 months ago

      You don’t need to be in a relationship, don’t feel pressured by friends & family.

      How can i tell this to bills?

    • @ipkpjersi@lemmy.ml
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      28 months ago

      Yep, this is what I’m going to do. I’m in my 30s now and I’m going to start travelling. I was going to wait until I was in my 40s but I realized nothing is promised so I might as well go ahead and do it now.

  • @TwoBeeSan@lemmy.world
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    238 months ago

    Don’t be afraid of healthy change and always admit fault.

    While some of the shit coming out in our current generation can be stupid or superfluous always take it in context and see how it could be used to better your life.

    Ex. Increase in mental health awareness recontexualizes your childhood.

    Also listening. Even if the shit coming out of your child’s/younger coworker mouth is some bonkers shit at least listen to them without judgement. Will make any criticism that much better received

    • Captain Poofter
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      8 months ago

      You realize 31 year olds were only 10 when YouTube came out? They have lived nearly their whole lives with it. Why do so many people under 30 think anyone over 30 is 50 years old?

      • @ArcaneSlime@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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        38 months ago

        Dude my mom is 60 and uses youtube all the time, why do people also think 60 is 89?

        Now my (now dead) 89yo relatives? Yeah they didn’t use youtube, one of them had a rotary phone until the phone company stopped supporting them in like 2009 and then he had no phone and no internet until the day he died. Had to drive to his house or send him a letter.

      • @nik9000@programming.dev
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        18 months ago

        When someone is having a computer problem I ask them to restart first. Not because I think they don’t know to do it, but just in case. Some people don’t know. Sometimes people forget. Obvious advice is useful sometimes.

  • Empathy [he/him]
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    8 months ago

    The advice I’m most scared not to follow as I get older: don’t dismiss everything that the younger generations say or do as being just a trend, and learn more about it.

    • Tiefling IRL
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      58 months ago

      What new body pains have you found?

      I swear it was like a switch for me

      • @ChillPenguin@lemmy.world
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        18 months ago

        Previous injuries I had when I was young. Like my knee from a baseball injury a long time ago. They just randomly flare up now. But brand new? Lower back. I swear some days it’s like a flip of a coin.

  • Duży Szef [he/him]
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    88 months ago

    fucking relax, take a break sometimes, let time fly and just don’t give a shit

    “but I have responsibilities!!!”

    fuck em, put your legs up on the coffee table and I dunno… just stop and think about the minute shit around you. or reminisce. have you called jon recently? fuuuuck man you should hit him up. ohhh you can’t arrange a date to meet? then fucking get that one day yourself to meet with him whenever he can

    i see so many people over 30 be overworked, overstressed and downright complacent with all the shit they have to go through

    just fuck it all for at least one day man, cause if that’s what life’s supposed to be then i don’t wanna get old, just to be surrounded by those who are letting all of life’s bullshit control every little fiber of them

    • @forgotmylastusername@lemmy.ml
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      38 months ago

      I’ve thought about this from time to time. Have we been kind of a neurotic generation? I could never tell if it was just me that was seeing things or what. The under 30s seems more indifferent. Might be because they are mostly the children of Gen-X? Are over 30s a bit uptight? How did we end up this way?

      From personal experience growing up so many kids were obsessed with the rat race from way too young. That whole mindset that you must to university to get all your credentials to fit yourself into a cookie cutter. The defacto life track until the illusion started to crack.

      All in all I think the over 30 generation has a really hard time with self reflection. In particular talking about the faults of our own generation. Which is paradoxical against the whole mental health awareness stuff.

  • @rabber@lemmy.ca
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    8 months ago

    I just turned 30 and I am pretty sure a woman is not worth it if she does not provide you peace at home and is constantly looking for drama and conflict. Spent my youth chasing lost causes

    As a guy at least in my experience, whenever I leave home I am faced with constant criticism and I have come to the realization that I simply do not have the capacity for it at home as well

    • @Passerby6497@lemmy.world
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      8 months ago

      I’m only a few years older than you, but I agree. And I’ll also say that some (respectful) criticism at home is ok, and if I’m honest, should be expected.

      We’re all not perfect and can’t expect to get nothing but praise or adoration from our partners, nor should it be expected of us. But all criticism should come from a place of love and respect; it’s not your partner against you about a problem, it’s you and your partner against a problem.

      Healthy relationships require hard conversations like that, but no one deserves to be in a relationship where they can’t feel comfortable to be themselves without being attacked for it (with some obvious exceptions).

  • Arkhive (they/she)
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    8 months ago

    30 is hurtling at me like a train, so may as well say my bit while I still qualify.

    Learn to swallow your ego, and pride, and “seniority”. There’s plenty of people younger than you that are wildly intelligent and truly want to make the world a better place. Let those people take up space. Let young organizers spread their wings. Put your desires to be important aside and help empower the next generation. Feeling valued by the broader society and being allowed to be important can help young people participate and learn to socialize, especially with some of their formative years being ravaged by social media and Covid.

    • Snot Flickerman
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      8 months ago

      What about those of us who are older who were never given that chance when we were young?

      We finally have a real opportunity and its our time to step aside?

      Cool, cool, so the Boomers never let us have a chance at anything and now that they are all finally fucking dying, the next generation is like “we know you never actually got a chance but get the fuck out our way.”

      That being said, there’s plenty of smart and capable youth out there who deserve a chance, it just stinks to be part of a lost generation that never got one.

      • @bobs_monkey@lemm.ee
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        158 months ago

        I think the point of the comment you replied to was to share space and allow the younger generation to flourish in ways that our generation never did. Break the cycle. This doesn’t mean sacrificing yourself for younger people, the world is big enough for all of us.

        • Snot Flickerman
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          128 months ago

          Cheers, that’s hopefully the way we can make it work.

          If there’s one thing that often bugs me about my peers, it’s the unwillingness to learn from someone younger than you. Plenty of young people know all kinds of shit I’ve never known and they grew up in a world with access to more accurate information and education, so things I was taught in my childhood may be wrong.

          For example, since I don’t have kids of my own, until recently I was totally unaware that there was a chickenpox vaccine. I was one of the last generations of ‘chicken pox parties’ where they just tried to get entire classes of kids to get it all at once so they wouldn’t get it at a more dangerous age.

          Young people will almost always have access to new and useful information we may not.

          • @bobs_monkey@lemm.ee
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            38 months ago

            Absolutely. I’ve got a younger dude that works for me and he teaches me so much on the daily, it’s pretty rad.

            There’s a chickenpox vaccine? Huh, TIL. I remember my chickenpox party lol, it seemed so weird at the time to be made to hang out with other kids that were sick with the intent of getting sick.

          • @intensely_human@lemm.ee
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            28 months ago

            If I see they’ve accomplished something I haven’t, I listen. So long as they’re not shitty about it.

            It’s not hard to find young people who have accomplished what I haven’t.

    • @intensely_human@lemm.ee
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      38 months ago

      I’ve never been valuable to the world. But now I’ve gone through a bunch of shit and know things people who haven’t been through that shit don’t know.

      Should I try to share that? I’m not really done trying to be helpful, you know? I haven’t spread my own wings yet, despite being old.

      So should I just give up to make space for young people who want to feel that, or should I chime in with what I’ve learned.