A long long time ago I had two serious knee injuries on the same knee. They warned me after injury and surgery 2 that the day would come when running just would became impossible and I should do everything I could to keep my muscles and health good. I was a runner my whole life, the injuries were not running related, but I could go on a 10 mile run like it was nothing and was pushing 60 miles a week for most of my adult life.
I started noticing some pain issues and swelling and had to stop running cold turkey two years ago. I got some training and hired an expert to craft a program to support my leg. Personal best in squats and deadlifts, it was incredible, looked and felt great for two years. But then, just like that, I went down on one knee to do a pallof press and HOLY MOTHER OF ALL THE GODS OLD AND NEW the pain.
I lost what remained of the cartilage. The muscle atrophy as I’ve gone through the systems to get a treatment plan and learn what’s going on has been brutal. I’m looking at major life changes to hold onto the knee until I’m old enough to warrant one replacement I can die with. And it absolutely devastated me. I drove home and saw a jogger and just got so insanely depressed. I want to go and start doing the exercises I know can help me regain some strength, and support that joint, but I also know an f’up will make it way worse. So I wait for PT and am just getting depressed AF.
ugh i’m so sorry. i can totally empathize with being unable to do enjoyable physical activities. not sure if you’re looking for suggestions, but is swimming an option for you in the meantime?
I’ll need to learn to swim better than a dead fish, but yes, I should look into doing this.
I’ve seen people walk laps in the shallower end too
pretty quiet week so far, i think it’s supposed to snow later which will be moderately annoying because i’ll have to shut my window for awhile if so
i’m still bummed i didn’t even get flurries this year in north carolina. :(
Come on up to Canada :3 you’ll get all the snow you could want and more
i just want my flurries and one day of 2-3 inches! grew up in indiana and had plenty of drifts for a lifetime. ;)
I’m having fun with what I’m working on, but I simply have too much to do, too many places to go, too many people to talk to.
I’m not going to get it all done today, that’s not possible and that makes me feel tired and discouraged, even though I’m having fun.
So… a very normal Monday.
It’s been rough. I went out to dinner with my sibling. I was sort of expecting them to unload their mental issues into me because that’s all my family talks about, but this time they said some stuff I don’t know how to forgive. We have a vacation together coming up that I already wasn’t hyped about tbh…
Why go on vacation with someone that makes your vacation worse?
It’s their vacation and they invited me along. I was hyped at first, but then they became extremely uncommucative about everything, especially the budget. I’ve tolerated a lot because I want to travel more and this seemed like an opportunity, but now I’m having second thoughts.
“Cough cough, sorry I caught Covid, can’t do anything sorry cough cough”
Lol that’s tempting, but I gotta tell them honestly why I’m pissed, or I’ll explode.
I’m sorry about that
Thanks. It’s OK, it’s just been a learning experience. I’ve learned I need to do more solo travel.
Can I be your wookie? Rrrrrrrrrrrr- ghghghghghghgh!
This is the first week since January where there isn’t some appointment or event every day. I am tired and know I should rest, but the additional time makes me want to keep going to get ahead of projects here.
Our local library held an event for new gardeners and after helping out with that I was asked if I’d be interested in doing workshops or small group lessons there. So there are now rough plans for “sips of science” style presentations on things like plant propagation, biochar, and home composting setups at the library. It’s only a little scary because the last people who’ve hosted the science chats have advanced degrees and I’m just some nerdy permie from the internet.
🏅Here just show them this degree
💜 as long as I have this and my memes check out I’ll be fine!
Back in CA for a friend’s wedding. Went to a bar with a cover charge for men. Got charged the cover charge :/
Basically killed my vibe the rest of the night
🫂
I can’t believe it’s nearly half way through March… WEEK?? It’s been a busy couple of months since last Friday.
I just got approved to join Beehaw, so things are going okay, I reckon!
Welcome to the club!
howdy! 🐝 🤠
Overall things are okay but I’m hoping they’ll be better soon. I’m supposed to find out if I get a raise this week. But I doubt I will get properly compensated as the tradition goes.
So I started making gaming YouTube videos back in September but man I have no idea what to make. I underestimated how much time each video takes to make when you’re working full time.
I’ve done some experimenting and some videos just don’t seem to do well. I think ultimately I just need to make more so I have more information. I’m hoping that I can find my “niche” soon. I just want to make fun/interesting videos for people to enjoy haha.
I feel like no one is properly compensated. I feel like even my CEO, who makes like ~$225k running a non-profit, would say the same thing, even though he’s much more comfortable in his life.
What’s your channel? If you wouldn’t mind sharing, that is. I’m always looking for new gaming-related content.
Haha that’s true enough. I suppose there’s a lot of factors at play for each individual! I just want to be able to help my parents retire and be able to afford things. Inflation is a bugger lol.
This is my channel https://youtube.com/@ForestKanagawa?si=ZxGKpuYBnX4gjpjs
I’m kinda throwing spaghetti at the wall, so some videos vary in quality. But I would love to hear feedback if you have any!
Your videos seem very authentic. I’m not one to watch very long and verbose videos, so for the most part they’re not for me. But I think they’re good.
Personally meaningful, I liked the Armored Core 6 impressions, which made me add it to my wishlist. Watching the Mirror’s Edge video gave me nostalgia - it was and is a great game indeed.
Thank you for your feedback! I’m glad to hear that they invoke that kind of response.
In regards to the length of the videos, that’s totally understandable, not everyone watches the same kind of content. But I appreciate your feedback and that you took the time to give me your thoughts! Thank you :)
I’ll take a look through your stuff too and see if there’s anything that jumps out at me. I totally sympathize though, editing takes forever and sometimes it feels like there’s an inverse causal relationship between the time invested in making the video and the response to it.
If I can offer any advice, it’s to just keep being you. Trying to play the algorithm is stressful and puts you in a different mindset from doing something because you enjoy it. Your people will find you.
Thank you I appreciate it :)
On my most recent video I spent no time at all, and I admittedly was trying to play to the algorithm a bit as an experiment. But on a couple videos before that I had spent 3 weeks of evenings every video. Capturing footage, writing, editing etc. Yeah haha I didn’t expect it to take so much time. Of course I’m also not am expert so I suppose I take a bit longer in that sense too.
I just have to keep going and eventually I’m sure I’ll improve. Or at least I would hope so lol!
First note: I adore your verbal affect, tonality, and natural cadence. You have a lovely voice, and the gentle voiceover is more welcoming than when someone overacts their excitement. Great choice.
I thought many of the clips you had selected were good, though I totally expected a different clip for Ice Ice Outpost. One thing to remember is that there’s a lot of visual data being thrown at people, so if you’re using title screens of games or text overlays over clips of them try to give the viewers more time to find and parse the text. It stood out particularly in the creep games video; where Dead Rising is higher res and easier to read, some of the other games were much lower res and focusing on text with blocky or jarring backgrounds is more difficult. Making individual slides is time consuming, but using a slightly longer clip or timing your voiceover of “game name” to the change in media can make a big difference too.
Subbed.
Thank you so much for the detailed feedback! That’s extremely helpful information for me to take going forward. I will have to keep that in mind while editing!
I’m surprised at your comments about my voice over. I thought people might think I sound too monotone or “flat”. I’m really glad it doesn’t come through that way though!
Do you think my topics are too varied? I’ve been just making whatever I feel like when inspiration strikes, but I’m hesitant as I’m thinking it might be stunting my growth as people don’t really know what to expect. I think it would be difficult to stick to one particular game or theme though.
Do you think my topics are too varied?
I don’t feel that way; I think it shows that you’re approaching topics genuinely and that you’re pulling from a deep bench. Personally speaking, there are very few single topic video game channels that I’ll interact with with any regularity. If someone is talking about a number of different genres and topics thoughtfully, there’s a higher likelihood that I’ll be interested in tuning in. To frame it differently (through our context): if someone is the best broccoli grower on youtube but that’s all they do, I’m only tuning in to a fraction of what they post, and only when I need to know about broccoli. Someone who’s doing projects involving many different plants is more likely to be worth watching whenever.
Please forgive this not-asked-for plug, but the video I posted today is somewhat tangential to our conversation. If you decide to watch it, think of it like I made it for you to take to heart. Video link
I’m sick again even though I was just sick like 3 weeks ago. So annoying
Pretty good still on course with some moderate swell of the proverbial oceans, and of my sentences today it seems so this is a long one.
Finally got some news about getting an official and legal supply of methylphenidate via the Transfer Your Care scheme in the UK, going with an NHS approved service that checks my former diagnosis (or requesting that I do a new one, depends on the doctor and the patient individually) and getting medication sorted out, it’ll take about 2 weeks once I have the appointment, which is at the end of fucking April…
I’m both relieved it’s finally coming and pissed it takes so long despite paying out of pocket for this bullshit all privately because the waiting list for ADHD diagnosis alone is 2+ years. But on the good side it’ll be much cheaper (£440 cheaper aka $564) than it is to buy the medication illegally and keep myself sane that way, I at least have a tested and clean source of the drug but it costs £500 a month at my dosage. I will have to buy it again next month until the appointment kicks in and we can get a prescription written ASAP.
So in short, I am down from 40k savings before this bullshit began 8 years ago to somewhere around 10k if I am lucky, honestly do not want to ask my parents the state it is in, too scared to look because I know I will calculate how long until I am fucked and can’t pay for therapy and shit anymore.
But life goes on well interpersonally, my fwb Meghan that I have been dating is still meeting me twice a week and she has said she is open to a relationship if it feels like one would develop too just as a background. I am coming over to her place this coming Wednesday and she’s coming over again on Saturday to play BG3 on my PC lol. Also working on some 3D prints for Meghan as a gift, they’ve been really fun to work on and it’s given me something to do. This medication is a god send for allowing me to actually live my life by doing stuff instead of drifting inbetween everything imaginable with my ADHD.
Fucking hell, 2+ years to get a diagnosis? I’m sorry you’ve had to go through that, and I’m glad you’re finally going to be getting the meds you need without going bankrupt in the process. Still rooting for you and Meghan. :D
I’m miserable. I’m seriously hoping that my happy pills will start putting in some work soon, because I haven’t been able to eat or sleep for two weeks now. I do have a doctor’s appointment tomorrow, so I’ll hopefully be able to get some answers to stuff that’s been bothering me.
Wow, rough. So there was no particular health or social event that seemed to have started this, as far as you know?
It’s been a combination of new and old body image issues that I’m having to reconcile. I’m getting through them, one day at a time.
Let me know if I can help. I think I wrestle with some such matters myself. I struggle with thinking that I’m attractive; I cannot just destroy or ignore my own subconscious ideals, and my own face simply doesn’t fit a couple major ones… So maybe you’re making more progress than me and I should change that initial statement to, “Let me know [what you’re doing]!”
Not sure I have much in the way of beneficial advice right now. I’m just doing my best to work toward being pretty while also trying not to compare myself to other people. 🥹
Hard to argue with!
Set up standing workspace first time in months. Something is going right.
Your back will thank you!
I did this about a month ago when my chair felt like it was breaking.
Why oh why did I not do it sooner?
As @Dymonika says, your back will thank you.
I had to give a report to our board of directors on Friday. I almost never do this, but a major project I’m leading up isn’t going well. It’s significantly delayed, and my boss, the CEO, thought I should be the one to tell them. Not because he’s throwing me under the bus, but because I know the details. So I had to deliver the less than exciting news.
When I spoke to my boss like a week ago, he did tell me to be candid, that I don’t have to lie or hide anything, because it’s not like the board wasn’t aware there were problems. And he also reminded me that we’re not the first company to ever have a major project go sideways; that our board members probably dealt with similar issues in their workplaces. In a way, both things things helped allay my fears.
Honestly though, the report went well. Sure, the board was concerned and had some questions, but mainly sympathetic. They understood that this was mainly the fault of the vendor we’re using, even though I told the truth and said that some of the delays are due to issues on our side. But I said we’d keep plugging away, while also looking for other vendors who might be able to step in.
And I wasn’t as nervous as I normally am doing big reports like this (though by the end, I did feel a single bead of sweat drop down the side of my head). In a way, it was also a good training opportunity for me. Sometimes, you have to deliver bad news to leadership. It also puts some of the onus on them to figure things out. So I’m glad I did that.
Congrats! I’m pretty socially anxious but for some reason I’m kind of fine at work. Talking in a straightforward way about work stuff I know well gives me heaps of confidence. It just feels good being the one that knows the details and getting that spark of understanding lit around me. Maybe it’s the same for you :)
My colleagues are still surprised I just crumble and disappear at parties though I think.
Thanks! Honestly, I think it’s more of a group size thing.
I’m much better with smaller groups of a handful of people. Like even having to give a report in a regular staff meeting, to the other 13 or so people I’ve work with everyday for years, gets my pulse moving a bit faster. Idk. That said, knowing it’s a weakness of mine, I’ve tried to make an effort to get better at it over the years. As I’ve told some of my younger colleagues and friends, just because one works in IT doesn’t mean they don’t have to talk to people. It’s an important part of the job; any job, really.
As far as parties, that I’m OK with. Usually because there’s a little bit of that good ole’ “social lubricant” in the mix! I’ve (half-)seriously considered having a drink before a presentation to a bigger group before, lol. Probably a good thing I’ve never actually done it though!
Blood tests good. Muscles still acting up.
Too tired to go to any more appointments, so I’m gonna take a little break from it all.
Time to enjoy a bit of silence, I think.
