God I love the onion
Right. This was so much better than I thought it was gonna be. Not just a cheap laugh.
OMG, the signatures at the end. Lol!
What’s the story with the signatures? Feel like I’m OOTL on that.
Great piece though.
I think they signed with wrong names to not get attacked. I can only read Ted Kaczynski.
One is Hockey Hall of Famer Joe Sakic (#19)
Satire is one of the few things in this world that really cuts straight into the absurdity of humanity. I wish the solutions were as easy as pointing out what a clown car this planet is.
Things, ideas, movements and people are only as important as people make them to be.
If enough people believed that only wearing a sock over your genitals was acceptable … people would only wear a sock over their genitals.
When you start looking at the world in this light and analyse what we decide on what is important and what is not … the world starts to look like a very weird place.
As George Carlin put it …
“I have as much authority as the Pope … I just don’t have as many people who believe it”
And this is why learning history matters. It gives context for these friggin bizarre norms that accumulate. It allows us to realize when the norms are useful, we’re useful and are no longer needed, or we’re always just humans being weird.
deleted by creator
The Red Hot Chili Peppers approve this message.
WE WANT CHILI WILLIE!!!
That quote is top notch.
Every time I see George Carlin mentioned on the web it always is a positive surprise.
Man every once in a while The Onion demonstrates how satire is supposed to be used. This is remarkable.
This is not a real news article but we’ll allow it in this instance because it sheds light on very real issues.
Please refrain from posting non news articles next time.
Okay 👍
I got permanently banned from /r/worldnews because criticizing Israel is “misinformation”
Well, what the fuck were you doing at reddit in the first place?!
I’ve completely replaced reddit with Lemmy on my phone, I still sometimes check some bigger subreddits when on my pc. Or subs like HFY that has no equivilant.
Ashamed to admit it, but for me Reddit is hard to kick. I would spend hours on various subs and writing comments. I had 8.5 years invested till I got kicked out. I didn’t realize how much time I was spending on the site until that happened.
I dropped it cold turkey after 15 years. I’ve gone back and looked at it a couple times and noped the fuck out of there. No regrets.
They really are ramping up the suspensions and kicking users out for good. I used a slang word for cigarette and I got suspended for a week. I told them to go back and read my comment, there was not any malice behind it. No dice…
Seems like you know what you did on purpose
Hfy?
And I know what you’re saying. I was being facetious. I sometimes check reddit at work too.
HFY (humanity, fuck yeah) was a sub for short stories about humans being cooler than aliens. Not in a self congratulatory way, but like how humans could feasibly have good or useful traits that alien species might not. Such as creativity or physical prowess due to being top of the food chain in a competitive ecosystem.
There’s a Lemmy alternative but not a lot of traction.
deleted by creator
Reddit has been a CIA platform since Aaron Swartz was driven to death.
I got banned from Reddit permanently because I had commented on an article of pertaining to enemies of the state. I said that traitors should be hung. So a bit strong but it was not directed to a particular person.
Me too for saying
If I went out like this, I would have this shit framed and hung over the fireplace.
Lol! I got banned off r/worldnews for that exact same thing three days ago. Got permabanned off reddit this morning.
The rivets are coming off their old propaganda machine in regards to Israel, and they are desperate to plug all the holes.
Removed by mod
Children with bone-cancer control the narrative?
Edit: also, this is often phrased as “To learn who rules over you, simply find out who you are not allowed to criticize” which is a quote from a literal neo Nazi and kiddie porn enthusiast, Kevin Alfred Strom.
The onion nails it again.
I’m glad at least Krystal and Kyle are trying to throw some water of sanity on the raging wildfires of bad takes out there.
So are Cenk and Ana at TYT. Please give them a listen. 6pm EST / 3PM PST daily on YouTube for the main show.
Thank you. Glad you mentioned them. I should have also said Kyle Kulinski and Krystal Ball (Secular Talk, Breaking Points) and not assumed everyone knew who I was talking about.
Ok I was ready to be disappointed but this is lengendary
It seems everyone did the same for the same reason.
Everyone is “standing” with them because they have power unlike Palestine who have none.Finally, and more importantly, it’s because we don’t want to and you can’t make us. You can’t. You seriously can’t. You cannot make us do all of this hard stuff. Ever. Seriously.
Remember Charlie?
The unicorn?
Charlieeee
Candy Mountain, Charlie!
He bit me! Ow Char-lie!
Idek if this is a real article or an actual announcement because both would be equally fair.
That’s what makes it good satire.
Finally some good sense on this contentious issue x
Small detail some might miss, one of the editorial board signatures is Ted Kaczynski.
Brilliant paragraph:
“What of the tens of thousands of Palestinian civilians killed before this attack?” some may ask. Our response is simply that we aren’t going to engage with that because it would be too hard. We also won’t be addressing Palestinians living in refugee camps without access to clean water, electricity, or housing. Others may ask, “Isn’t it your responsibility to provide context, particularly on thorny issues such as this one?” To that, we merely say: No, shut up. You’re being annoying.
Writing like that is why the Onion is the greatest satire publication in the world.
It sucks that we are not allowed to call bad ideas, bad ideas. Especially when it comes to Israel. Criticism is always antisemitism. I’m sorry I don’t believe any country should be able to start an ethnostate and drive millions of people out of an area they have lived for what? Thousands of years? What does Israel think is going to happen? They are teaching a whole new generation to hate them. (as if they already diddnt) This will just cause more terrorist cells to pop up and work to kill more innocent people.
All in the name of some sky daddy. The only reason the US supports Israel is because some 2000 year old work of fiction wrote some doomsday prophecy.
SkyDaddy sure, but don’t forget American currency is tied to this destruction as well. We didn’t didn’t hustle out those 8-10 bill boats out there because we are fanboys of Bebe. Nothing good ever comes out of messing around in the Middle East. Nothing. It was a mistake for the US to get this involved.
