The comic being fully committed to the idea that D&D teaches you actual magic spells that actually work in real life is fucking wild. Like, bro, this is supposed to be Christian propaganda but you’re out here telling me that one small spell can get me $200 of D&D sourcebooks? Sign me the fuck up for Satan, this Jesus dude ain’t shit.
Yeah but J-Dawg can get you endless fish and breadsticks for snacking while you play
“Yo, you brought snacks? Awesome! What’d you bring?” “Fish sandwiches.” “I… Um… Thanks, Jesus… Anything to drink?” “My blood.”
Dude’s BAC is so high his blood is wine
Sounds like a good dinner to me
Eh, not really a wine guy, personally.
Neither am I, I was just gonna drink some of the blood
Related XKCD What If - “Could you get drunk from drinking a drunk person’s blood?”
That one VTM player: “Your blood? Can I diablerize the son of God? And if so, does Jesus count as a 0th generation vampire, being an aspect of God, or a 1st generation vampire, being God’s son and childe?”
“The blood of Christ reduces you to a pile of ash. No, there’s no way to resist. Make a new character. Dumbass.”
-Any decent storyteller in this situation.
Jesus is a lich
Imagine finding 5.000 fishes when you come home.
Yes, but the price of that temporary earthly magic is your immortal soul!
So, theoretically, it’s not worth it.
But you need the sourcebooks to learn the spell…
