The comic being fully committed to the idea that D&D teaches you actual magic spells that actually work in real life is fucking wild. Like, bro, this is supposed to be Christian propaganda but you’re out here telling me that one small spell can get me $200 of D&D sourcebooks? Sign me the fuck up for Satan, this Jesus dude ain’t shit.
Yeah but J-Dawg can get you endless fish and breadsticks for snacking while you play
“Yo, you brought snacks? Awesome! What’d you bring?” “Fish sandwiches.” “I… Um… Thanks, Jesus… Anything to drink?” “My blood.”
Dude’s BAC is so high his blood is wine
Sounds like a good dinner to me
Eh, not really a wine guy, personally.
Neither am I, I was just gonna drink some of the blood
Related XKCD What If - “Could you get drunk from drinking a drunk person’s blood?”
That one VTM player: “Your blood? Can I diablerize the son of God? And if so, does Jesus count as a 0th generation vampire, being an aspect of God, or a 1st generation vampire, being God’s son and childe?”
“The blood of Christ reduces you to a pile of ash. No, there’s no way to resist. Make a new character. Dumbass.”
-Any decent storyteller in this situation.
Jesus is a lich
Imagine finding 5.000 fishes when you come home.
But you need the sourcebooks to learn the spell…
Yes, but the price of that temporary earthly magic is your immortal soul!
So, theoretically, it’s not worth it.
All I get from that is that D&D gives you super powers, and the author of that comic is envious because they never got invited to play.
Especially on a table with 3 women
A friend at our table struggles to roll over a 4 on a d20.
Sometimes I think Dark Leaf had it too good.
Just roll up a new character with all the same stats and a slightly different name, like everyone else.
Blackleaf’s identical twin whiteleaf is here to avenge her!
Possible. Though I like thinking about other possibilities. My Tabaxi cleric has led me to produce so many backup characters - a Warlock, a Monk, a Barbarian and a Wizard, though that last one is still WIP, and I’m thinking a Paladin as the Cleric’s old mentor - I could solo run an entire spin-off.
P.S. the cleric is still around and kicking ass, I just did the backup characters for the lulz and for building up his background.
KhajitTabaxi has family, if DM has perilsFamily, friends,
people he’s bonedpossibly former lovers, mentors, acquaintances, y’know, the whole shebang.
According to the story, if your character dies in-game, by that point you’re so addicted to the black magic that you ultimately can’t go on living without it.
