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It’s literally how the character was being played. Famed homophobe and asshole Producer Rick Berman demanded that Garak’s attraction to Bashir be played down because network snowflakes or something.
To your point, Bashir and O’Brian had a very close relationship.And while they had a massive bromance, no one thought they were gay for each other.
Whatever you need to tell yourself to excuse your massive bigotry and homophobia.