Hey now, sometimes my character is three little guys in a suit pretending to be one bigger guy. Or sometimes I’m a dwarf barbarian who has had so many CTEs that he thinks he’s a wizard.

Not only that, but mining for it produces massive quantities of dangerous runoff and radioactive waste. Good thing coal doesn’t do that!

Man, I really enjoyed Hyperion, but the rest of the series kind of lost me. It also doesn’t help that Simmons is an actual nut case.

Can I interest you in Sithrak, the god who hates you?