It’s cool that Vestige warlock can get Spirit Guardians via War domain spells, and the Vestige itself seems pretty big on HP. Can take pact of the blade to be a melee bruiser, with the vestige backing you up from range. I haven’t checked to see if there is any other way to get both SG and Extra Attack by level 5 using only 2024 core-and-expanded rules yet, but this is an exciting development!

Before you roll any dice, the chances of rolling two nat 1s are 1/400. But after you roll your first die, whatever it happened to be, your chances of rolling a nat 1 are 1/20. The chances of the entire scenario have no impact on the probability of the individual rolls

5e? Goblin. Obvious fit for the vibe, and mechanically gies you a bonus action disengage after you booming blade in melee, which covers you for the first 3 adventures. Bonus action Hide will be useful for all 7, especially if you opt for Infiltrator.

Try Villain Actions, a la https://nerdarchy.com/a-mouthful-of-5e-dd-villain-actions-inspired-by-matt-colville/

What is a ‘banna’? I thought you might have meant ‘banana’, but you tripled down so now I’m not sure. The internet only tells me of the Banna Strand, a beach in Ireland

I recommend going to Disboard and then searching for dnd, dnd5e, or avrae, or else finding an invite to the Avrae discord server and looking through the latest posts in its looking-for-community channel (Avrae is a discord bot that helps automate D&D 5e gameplay, so I find it to be a convenient search term–but if ypur partner prefers other systems, Disboard probably has searchable tags for them too). Then just make sure the description also includes LGBTQ+ and you’re probably golden (at least in terms of finding a community that is not vitriolic to your partner).

These communities are often “Westmarches” style, where players group up for short events, so the specific group of people playing at any given time rotates. Some servers are primarily focused on being a place to find groups for synchronous play (e.g. over voice chat for a few hours), while others focus on slow asynchronous play-by-post that has participation from each player once or twice per day. Some servers combine the two styles.

Good luck!

Level 3 feels significantly more punchy for most classes, which is nice.

Most d&d podcasts and shows get a bunch of free stuff that they feature (dice, minis, dice towers, stuffed animals, drawings of their characters, etc).

I doubt they buy things that someone wants to sell them.

You probably have to choose: do you want to sell it, or do you want to see it featured?

If the latter, then probably send a letter with some pictures, asking if they would feature it if you had it shipped, to whoever you want (most shows and podcasts advertise a PO Box or some such). If they answer such things on their show, chances are they’ll give you a shout out and let you know on an episode. If they say yes, then you ship it to them, and that’s… It.

Maybe. There are many ways to move files and directories around without using Finder, at which point all indexed data about those files and directories will be stale. Forcing something as core as mv to update Spotlight would be significantly worse, I think. By keeping the .DS_Store files co-located with the directory they index, moving a directory does not invalidate the index data (though moving a file without using Finder still does). Whether retaining indexing on directory moves is a compelling enough reason to force the files everywhere is probably dependent on whether that’s a common enough pattern among workflows of users, and whether spotlight performance would suffer drastically if it were reliant on a central store not resilient against such moves.

So, it’s probably a shaky reason at best.

Look into your local game cafe(s). That’s the type of place that sells board games, dice, minis, but also has gaming tables and often a small food and drink counter. There are likely nights for newbies you might be able to join, to experience it live.

Watch some youtube videos of people live-playing the game you are interested in. You’ll see the character players interacting with the DM, propped up mostly by their shared understanding of the game mechanics, and the individual mechanics of their characters. Keep an eye out for how things are different in combat vs out of combat.

You don’t need minis or dice if you play online. E.g. there is a Discord bot called Avrae, and many small communities come together around use of that bot to play, where it handles most of the crunchy mechanics like dice rolls and modifiers and even maps. Some communities play live sessions over video chat, others play without video chat but with 5 minute turn timers, and others play asynchronously with 24 hour timers in a format called play-by-post (or pbp) where they roll the crunchy math in one channel, and then roleplay their characters’ actions in another. Disboard will let you search communities who are looking for members–filter by whatever tags interest you most.

Finding a live play group to play a campaign with can be… Hard. I recommend you start by educating yourself about a system via free resources, maybe finding a game cafe to experience it in a one-shot, and try some online play, before investing too much. As you learn more, you’re also more likely to encounter people looking to start or grow a group.

I introduced a “small one story structure, its walls no wider than the span of a single door” next to the farmhouse my players were investigating. They didn’t believe the owners who told them what it was for, and went to check it out for themselves, hackles up and weapons drawn.

It’s an outhouse.

Just an outhouse.

Do you even read?

I think it turned into some amount of shit slinging that stopped being relevant to the shit at hand. I’m guessing mods decided to close that sphincter before the verbal diarrhea overflowed the rim of the post ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

The poop knife is irrelevant until and unless one plans to flush, which this question did not ask.

Also, why do you assume the nurse is a lady?

The modules I like have:

• A DM map with a bunch of numbers on it, and text sections corresponding to the numbers detailing an encounter in a certain area. I personally skim these ahead of time, to know which parts to read out to the players when/if they get there. These should be traps (with exposition hints), puzzles, and combats.
• A hook, escalation with two options, and resolution, all encompassing a possible plot. TBH, this should be something that a DM can discard and replace with their own plot, if they have the inspiration and energy to do so. But if they don’t, then your prewritten plot is there for their use. This is required reading either way, to know what’s important (or what to replace).
• Some NPCs that have basic goals and motivations, for the DM to RP if the players find them (or need a push.} You don’t want more than a paragraph or two for each, because all the extra details should be ad-libbed anyway. Motivation is key tho–why are they there, what do they want, and where their lines lie. Two one-liners from a Background table along with an alignment can usually cover most of that, TBH. Limit the required reading to 3-ish named NPCs per session, or less, with fewer introduced in subsequent areas of the module.

“Would incest be okay if we could guarantee no reinforcement of bad recessives?”

“I want space travel, to live forever, and make an AI human for… Reasons.”

“Get off my lawn, big government!”

That tracks.

In 5e: Simon the Devious and the Leather Skins (from What We Do In The Shadows) as a Dhampir Hexblade Warlock with Pact of the Chain.

Between the chain familiar (Count Rapula), a zombie from Undying Servitude (Ken the Accountant), Summon Undead (Blagvlad the Exsanguinator, or Desdemona the Shrieker, or Impussa) and an Accursed Specter (Carol), you have a 4-person posse by level 6. It grows situationally or permanently when you gain access to Danse Macabre, Create Undead, and Finger of Death.

Mechanically, you’re done by 13, and can either finish off with Bard (probably Whispers) or Paladin (Oathbreaker). Either way, take Inspiring Leader once you’ve maxed Cha, and then go get yourself that cursed witch’s hat!

Give https://ploum.net/2023-06-23-how-to-kill-decentralised-networks.html a read. Might sway you, might not.

Is that… John Oliver? What a beast.

I read this to my wife.

Her response was “Stop.”

“No honey, that would be the red light.”