It was only a matter of time before she suggested poly(nomials).

There were sines. Sometimes her stories just didn’t add up. She always called my favorite band derivative. She always said I was being obtuse.

She couldn’t integrate u into her life.

She kept calling my p significantly too small.

And any time she applied for credit she’d insist that I cosine. And if I asked why she’d always go off on tangents. For me it was just too slippery a slope.