self-explanatory!!
The ability to stop pooping for three days.
You have to post about it online and keep the community updated on your progress, becoming the first widespread Lemmy meme
deleted by creator
You already can – immodium
Or just some painkillers. I had surgery seven or eight years ago and I still remember how badly I wanted to shit by day three and it just wasn’t happening.
But when you eventually poop your in the middle of human a human centipede
The ability to touch a book to instantly know its content.
Turns out, the books you touch are actually quite satisfied and content.
It only works if you touch it with your penis.
There are no downsides. Perfect.
but you must feel a paper cut from every single page of knowledge
The ability to talk to animals
You can talk to animals now. I think what you mean is you want them to be able to talk too.
But only about collecting stamps.
you can talk to animals, but they don’t want to (they are very prejudiced)
You can talk to them but they can’t understand you.
This is just reality
Everytime you talk to an animal, every moving living being around you looks like the animal you talked to.
I can obtain any super power just by thinking about it.
The ability to think is lost
Damn. So, does that mean I just die?
When you have obtained your superpower, you lose your ability to obtain any new superpowers.
So I get to chose one super power, but I lose the ability to think so it renders any powers I’ve obtained essentially useless? Man, this js the most realistic super power conversation ever. So realistic it’s quite scary!
.
The ability to read, write, and speak every language
granted. you can understand everything, but when you respond, you choose wrong (related, but not mutually intelligible) language every time
The ability to study, understand and use fantasy level magic.
you are still bound by laws of physics
magic is just physics we dont understand yet… think this could still work
if you want to lift something by telekinesis, you’d be just as tired, if not more, than if you used your hands. if you want to set something on fire by thought alone, you need to provide that initial energy somehow (like starting fire with bow drill). you’ll be drained just as much as after physical work
This is like saying you would be tired after lifting a pallet with a forklift. Many magic systems are about using magic in the world around you, which only requires you to understand how to use it; the energy being consumed doesn’t come from yourself.
Now you see why the people at Hogwarts have a big feast every other day. And I don’t recall the more corpulent ones using that much magic
No, if you were just worried about energy, you would be much less tired than by doing things manually. For example, moving a heavy object downhill would gain you energy, not lose it, and keeping a heavy object in the air would neither gain nor lose energy. it would only be lifting that is hard, and it would still be easier than lifting manually.
Edit: and according to Wikipedia, human muscles only have an efficiency of around 20%, so doing basically anything through magic would be 5x easier than doing it by hand.
let’s keep conservation of energy, conservation of momentum, conservation of angular momentum and conservation of mass. who said telekinesis is 100% efficient? also let’s make it so that the bigger distance from user, the less efficient it gets
Obeying all of the laws of physics, magic wouldn’t work at all. Assuming you were able to break a few but kept some such as conservation of energy, it would be very powerful, ex: teleportation does not break conservation of energy as long as you teleport to the same height you left from. If you were able to extract energy from your surroundings, you could probably do basically anything you want. You could lower the sun’s heat by a degree and be able to move a mountain.
let’s make it so that all energy used in magic comes from within the user and has to be supplied as food
But it still only works if magic actually works and if it doesn’t, then you just understand really well how you would have used magic, if it were actually real.
Perfect timing.
Except you feel the need to always respond to everyone else’s conversations. Your timing is impeccable yet everyone comes to resent your witty remarks.
I can reverse any moderator actions.
Ability to transform into a dog that shoots bees when it barks
Bees come out of your eyes
But you have to guard an old billionaire’s mansion.
The ability to read another person’s thoughts by looking at them.
Granted, but your thoughts are transmitted to the person looking at you.
ability to instantly know exact composition of a substance just by looking at it
deleted by creator
even better
The ability to find anything lost.
Everything you touch turns into a potato
What if the world turned into a potato ? The potatocalypse
read this with the kurzgesagt voice
Stopping time
But unfortunately you can’t start it again.
gg
You stop time for yourself too.
RIP
Time stops for everything that isn’t you, including air. You leave a vacuum everywhere you go and can never stay anywhere for long.
The power to gain any superpower by submitting it as a comment to this thread, repeatable as many times as desired, keeping any power previously obtained unless explicitly commenting to void that power.
The highest voted side effect applies for all powers obtained in this way.
Power to turn things into gold by touch.
Including your own body parts
granted, this happens by actual nuclear transmutation. depending on what you touch you can get small to large explosions and the freshly formed gold is likely highly radioactive
