Guillotines.
y’all qaeda had those on Jan6. They can have 'em.
Samurai sword. But, probably they all have those as well.
Sic semper tyrranis
And the billionaires will be the first to try it out!
Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords as a basis for a system of government.
Strange woman here, anyone knows where I can buy swords in bulk, preferably with a pond thrown in? It’s for… a personal project.
Are we to believe that famous actress Margot Robbie doesn’t have some sort of connection for bulk medieval weaponry?
I am shocked and dismayed.
Have you tried your local Swords 'R Us? I hear there’s a July 4 blowout sale this week. Use promo code Pond50 for half of your pond!
something something ‘watery tart’ something.
You know how to kill any party? Start quoting Monty Python.
Who are you, who are so wise in the ways of science?
He’s being oppressed! Come see the violence inherent in the system!
You sound like a moistened bint to me. Care to decree some governmental officials while you’re here?
The woman = Amy Coney Barrett
The pond = DC swamp
The sword = Official acts
I would love it if taverns became a thing again, but only if they kept the time period theme up.
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Taverns kind of are a thing, they’re just called hotels now.
Unfortunately they have a significantly lower focus on alcohol and food - a stark lack of mead and mutton in particular.
They’re just called pubs nowadays and many of them are still in business, with drink, food and music downstairs, and rooms for sleeping upstairs.
The one in my neighbourhood is newly reopened and serves fancy craft beer these days, but the basics are actually pretty much unchanged since a tavern first opened in that house sometime in the 1640s.
I guess we could use a little ice age right around now, and it would also be nice to have a Renaissance around the corner.
Someone said inns and taverns, and yes it’s a missing piece of housing here - long term hotels with food, bars/restaurants with rooms to rent above.
Not much though, it is not a time I’d visit.
Someone said inns and taverns,
They’re just called pubs nowadays and many of them are still in business, with drink, food and music downstairs, and rooms for sleeping upstairs.
The one in my neighbourhood is newly reopened and serves fancy craft beer these days, but the basics are actually pretty much unchanged since a tavern first opened in that house sometime in the 1640s.
The medieval ice age sounded miserable though
Receiving land for farting good.
Having most of the year off for festivals and holy days
Good news: take up subsistence farming, no healthcare, no electricity, and make everything yourself, and you too can have half the year “off”.
take up subsistence farming
Where?
Gotta buy land first. Like 10 acers if you want to grow most of your own food.
Japan sells rural land for cheap
Plenty of places you can do this. Put “homesteading” into a search engine of your choice and you’ll get more information on the topic than you can handle.
You’ll also pretty quickly realize its a very hard, tedious life and we have it pretty good in many ways in the modern world.
Don’t threaten me with a good time
I mean the reality was that the time “off” was spent farming their own land, taking care of animals, fixing the house and doing the insane number of household tasks that come with premodern living. Spend a few days just cooking in a medieval style, and you’ll quickly realize it’s a LOT of work.
Meh,
- They had horrible healthcare they couldn’t afford and WE have horrible healthcare we can’t afford
- They spent a lot of time at festivals and with their communities helping each other and WE spend a lot of time chatting on our phones, but mostly playing games.
- They spent a lot of time outdoors doing a lot of work but keeping active, and we can sometimes go for hikes or walks, but we’re Americans, we as a whole, don’t.
- They knew how an could fix things around the farm, we can watch youtube videos unless it’s electronic or DRM.
- They had witch hunts and misinformation and WE have witch hunts and misinformation.
- All of the food they grew was organic but they had to grow it themselves and we have to pay an arm and a leg for non-poisoned food.
- They spent all day working for the king and we spend all day working for billionaires.
- They have poor starving people during famines, we have a too big percentage of poor starving people (13% of US population was food insecure during 2023).
- They had xenophobia and WE have xenophobia.
All of the food they grew was organic
Without someone inspecting the water and the soil, how safe was it? ♪♫ Hello typhoid my old friend… ♫♪
Except for that, yeah. We still have listeria outbreaks, etc. that kill people. It’s not like we’ve moved on from that, and that’s with all of the poisoned food to make it “safer.”
Medieval cooking sounds a little bit fun. Besides, maybe, all the slaughtering of animals and heavy use of entrails.
And gathering your own firewood, and water, and making twice as much to prepare for winter, and the strongly reduced options.
I mean yeah, it IS fun for a bit, I do medieval reenactment, obviously I enjoy it. But doing it every day absolutely sucks.
Is Alaska still giving away free land?
No, but it’s like a dollar per square meter if you’re remote enough…
Depending on the state and one’s farming capabilities, some people could already be halfway there! At least part of the year
Sorcery, alchemy, soothsaying, baby. Come one come all I’ll cure what ails you. I’ll summon portals and turn lead into #gold.
Or maybe the town crier. Hear ye, hear ye, elon musk hast tweeted about his balls.
Guillotines for kings
Cloaks and leather boots
Trebuchets - the superior siege engine. (Disclaimer: probably not medieval)
Guess that makes me king of my own domain! 😆
Weird ass slices in public parks everybody has to garden in. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Open-field_system
My non-joke answer is apprenticeship. Kids could actually learn how to do a valuable job rather than graduating from high school with almost no useful skills.
Thats not medieval, thats everywhere exept the US of A.
Where I live, apprenticeships are officially regulated and for many proffessions you are not allowed to open a business without proper qualification.
The US has apprenticeships as well. Not sure why this person doesn’t think they do …
Trump had an Apprentice
What kind of generalisation are you trying to point out?
They’re referring to the TV Show, The Apprentice, which D Trump was on.
Don’t those already exist in union shops nowadays?
Often, yes, there just aren’t enough union shops anymore.
Wait, you don’t it in the US ? Kids who aren’t comfortable in school start learning a trade at 14, so by the time they’re 18 they have some skills.
I get that it’s a pitty that non everyone reads philosopher or learn about history and science, but on the other hands, some kids are really uncomortable at school, so having them working one week, and going to school one week is an alternative which pulls some student out of the failure cycle
Education in general is quite shit in the US. Apprenticeships, contracts and unions are all things most Americans never experience.
Fucking guillotines already
Isn’t that more of a renaissance thing
Well another medieval thing we’re bringing back is not learning history
The US already has plenty of that
The last time France used it was in 1977, so while it might have started a while back they only stopped using it less than 50 years ago.
FUCKING 1977???
Free time
You seriously think they had more free time?
Catapults, just to irritate the trebuchet people.
Did you just insult the superior siege weapon?
As I understand it, the trebuchet is technically a catapult, I think you are trying to undermine it by referring to the lowly mangonel which is certainly inferior.
If my Age of Empires knowledge serves, you can just crank out a pantload of mangonels and start blasting before the trebuchets have time to set up and reduce your town to rubble
