Please don’t ask why I need this.

It would be great if the food also made me sweat less.

It has to be something I can easily find.

EDITS FOR CLARIFICATION:

  • I am not planning on partaking in any illegal activities.

  • I do not condone the use of illegal substances and am not planning on smuggling anything anywhere.

  • I am not going on a hiking trip or mailing myself anywhere.

  • I will be staying in a tent (not a small one; a huge with with air conditioning and everything). I will be traveling for five days, returning to my current location on day 3 and traveling again on the last two days. I will not poop on the first three days (hopefully).

  • Clean toilets with all the expected facilities will be available to me. I am not going to poop for reasons that I wish to keep to myself.

  • If it gets bad, like really bad, like a-piece-of-poop-is-literally-halfway-out-my-ass bad, I will use the toilets.

Please stop asking because I am not telling anyone the reason.

  • GratefullyGodless@lemmy.worldEnglish
    175·
    3 years ago

    I was worried that lemmy wouldn’t reach the pinnacle of quality to match reddit, and then this post came along to soothe those fears. Good luck on your no poop quest.

  • cly@lemmy.worldEnglish
    1111·
    3 years ago

    In 10 years, people are going to say “I joined Lemmy before the 3 days without pooping post”

  • Crit_D@lemmy.worldEnglish
    80·
    3 years ago

    I came to Lemmy as a substitute for Reddit, and I’m impressed at how little time it took to reach the high-quality posts that Reddit was known for.

  • mizu@lemmy.worldOPEnglish
    64·
    3 years ago

    I’ve replied to quite a few people and I’m going to bed now.

    I’ll edit the posts with updates when my poopless journey ends. Either when the three-day poopless period is over (28th June) or when the whole thing is over (30 June/1 July).

    Wish me luck.

    • deejay4am@lemmy.worldEnglish
      7·
      3 years ago

      Remember: No vid, no did

      (but seriously good luck and please don’t hurt/injure yourself my friend. Godspeed!)

    • Vex_Detrause@lemmy.caEnglish
      4·
      3 years ago

      Please don’t overthink it. You might get more urge to go when your trying not to poop. You got this! Please update us.

  • Bye@lemmy.worldEnglish
    59·
    3 years ago

    So you are going to wear some kind of pants that you can’t take off easily for 3 days. Maybe some kind of medieval armor, or a fursuit.

    Gatorade has tons of calories because of the sugar, and it will leave nothing to poop out. It will give you the critical electrolytes (plants crave them) that you’re missing from food. Take a multivitamin too.

    But it doesn’t have enough calories, and you need stuff to go in your stomach so you don’t suffer being empty on your temporary Gatorade diet. eat white bread. Your body metabolizes almost all of it, so there’s almost nothing to poop out.

    You will need to poop out all your poop before doing this, so good hydration and veggies beforehand will clean you out. No need for laxatives, just switch to your new and stupid diet 36 hours before you need to stop pooping.

    Good luck on your medieval battle reënactment or orgy.

  • SuperNerd@programming.devEnglish
    35·
    3 years ago

    NASA has a paper on how to not poop for days. It’s on the Internet. Before space toilets there was only a space bag with finger scissor/scoop holes. It didn’t work, poop got everywhere. The paper goes into detail about fecal matter being everywhere after early multi-day missions.

    So they figured it out. Their system works – I’ve also had my own reasons.

  • Twaffle@lemmy.worldEnglish
    34·
    3 years ago

    This thread is going to haunt me. One day, years from now while lying in bed and slowly drifting off to sleep, I’ll suddenly sit bolt upright and exclaim, “Why couldn’t that dude poop!?”

  • KeavesSharpi@lemmy.mlEnglish
    31·
    3 years ago

    I love that this is the flagship viral post for the new popular Lemmy. At this point, OP’s reason for not pooping is tertiary to the entertainment! Also, I’m pretty sure it’s just social anxiety.