Mine was a shark person male named Susan (he didn’t understand the idea of gendered names but liked how human names sounded)
I had a little kobold cleric named Muk who thought if he was a good enough person he would evolve Pokemon style into a dragonborn
I’m believe in you Muk, you can do it!
Stéphanos Eoforwine, a one-shot character for a campaign a few years back. He was essentially just fantasy Steve Irwin, with a +20 animal handling thanks to a custom magic item, “the Shorts of the Crocodile Hunter.”
I wanted him to be searching for something ridiculous, so he was on the hunt for “the mighty tree elk.” It’s a species of elk he heard about. Rumor says they’re a a ompletely ordinary elk in terms of size and appearance, but they live in the boughs of trees, somehow.
Well, at one point I took an animal handling roll to see if he could find any tree elk. And I got a nat 20. It turns out, Stéphanos’s animal handling was so high, that he could literally will entire species into being if he rolled high enough. Tree elk weren’t a thing before that day, but they were after!
Through the rest of the campaign, the DM would occasionally make a call back by mentioning you looking up and seeing an elk leap from tree branch to tree branch.
A reanimated necromancer hand puppet who had to have a skeleton minion wear him in order to function properly
An Orc Bard with performance in slapstick comedy and plays the spoons as an instrument. Cantrip for “ba-dum tish”
Wadgour Raughters, halfling bard embarking on his solo career due to “creative differences” with his former bandmates from Blink Pig.
I liked my first character I ever played. Wasn’t really good and was very new to role playing dialog and didn’t like to come up with in-character dialog, so I built a barbarian around that.
His back story was being wrongfully accused of a crime and thus had his tongue cut out and was exiled from his home.
All he could do was gesture and mumble and make noise. Low Int, no sign language or reading, etc.
It made a bunch of interactions with party members and npc’s quite interesting. Had to pantamime and gesture and grunt actions, not only in character, but as a player which was great fun :)
Warforged Bard, Unit #69420, Designation: JAMB0T
JAMB0T comes pre-equipped with seven different musical instruments, an ale dispenser (ale not included), a confetti cannon, a heater core, and a subwoofer big enough to rattle Pelor’s china cabinet.
JAMB0T was primarily built as a way to get his creator free drinks at parties, but since the death of his creator some time ago, JAMB0T has been set loose to wander the world of his own accord. He doesn’t understand the difference between an adventuring ‘party’ and a party party.
“KEYWORD: ‘PARTY’ RECOGNIZED. THIS UNIT WAS BORN TO PARTY. ACCEPT?”
In AD&D II I had a female half-elven mage/thief. But she was a devoted follower of some elvish deity, and wore the clothing and even a genuine holy symbol of that clergy.
Imagine the surprize when enemies learned to wonder “since when can clerics throw fireballs?”
A human fighter called testi-cles. He was invincible to all but a nat 20, though a nat 20 was instant death for him.
When the dm actually rolled a nat 20 we had all forgot about a disadvantage till after he was dead, do it just got retconned to one of his testicles exploding and him surviving it
BearBear the Bugbear Bear Totem Barbearian
ʜɪ, ɪ’ᴍ ʙɪʟʟ sᴛɪᴛᴢᴍᴀɴ. ɪ’ᴠᴇ ʙᴇᴇɴ ᴀ ʀᴇᴀʟ ᴇsᴛᴀᴛᴇ ᴀɢᴇɴᴛ ғᴏʀ ᴛʜɪʀᴛʏ-ғɪᴠᴇ ʏᴇᴀʀs, ᴜɴᴛɪʟ ʟᴀsᴛ ᴍᴏɴᴛʜ ᴡʜᴇɴ ɪ sɪɢɴᴇᴅ ᴛʜᴇ ᴡʀᴏɴɢ ᴘᴀɢᴇ ᴏғ ᴀɴ ɪɴғᴇʀɴᴀʟ ᴄᴏɴᴛʀᴀᴄᴛ. ɪ ᴀᴄᴄɪᴅᴇɴᴛᴀʟʟʏ sᴏʟᴅ ᴍʏ sᴏᴜʟ, ᴀʟᴏɴɢ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴍʏ ᴇɴᴛɪʀᴇ ʟɪғᴇ sᴀᴠɪɴɢs, ᴍʏ ʙᴜsɪɴᴇss, ᴀɴᴅ ʜᴀʟғ ᴍʏ ᴠᴏɪᴄᴇ, ᴛᴏ ɢʟᴀssᴋ ᴛʜᴇ ᴇᴛᴇʀɴᴀʟʟʏ ᴍᴜᴛᴇ. ɪ ᴋɴᴏᴡ ɪᴛ sᴏᴜɴᴅs ʟɪᴋᴇ ɪ’ᴍ sᴘᴇᴀᴋɪɴɢ ᴀᴛ ᴀ ᴘᴇʀғᴇᴄᴛʟʏ ɴᴏʀᴍᴀʟ ᴠᴏʟᴜᴍᴇ, ʙᴜᴛ ɪ’ᴍ ᴀᴄᴛᴜᴀʟʟʏ sᴄʀᴇᴀᴍɪɴɢ ᴀᴛ ᴛʜᴇ ᴛᴏᴘ ᴏғ ᴍʏ ʟᴜɴɢs ʀɪɢʜᴛ ɴᴏᴡ.
There was also my gnome divination wizard. He’s 230 years old, and his last assignment before graduating wizard school with a Master’s in Divination is to find a valid use for True Strike. His best bet is to make it to level 17, and simply Wish for True Strike to do something different.
Fun fact: he has received degrees in Evocation, Conjuration, Enchantment, Illusion, Abjuration, and Transmutation before. It’s just that spending decades sitting in a school strips away a lot of experience (and levels). His secret goal that even the DM doesn’t know about is to go back and learn necromancy last. It’s not that he wants to become a lich, but if he ever does, he’ll want to have a well-rounded magical education
Bonus: Nanfoodle's True Strike
Upon reaching level 17, Nanfoodle will cast Wish, and beseech Mystra to turn True Strike into the following:
Nanfoodle’s True Strike
Casting time: 1 bonus action (requires concentration)
Range: 30 feet
Components: S
Duration: up to 1 round
You extend your hand and point a finger at a target in range. Your magic grants you a brief insight into the target’s defenses. While you are concentrating on this spell, you may use a reaction to gain advantage on one attack roll against the target. You may choose to use this reaction after rolling to attack, but only before the result is determined. After gaining advantage in this way once, the spell ends.
Most people attempt to fix true strike by turning it into a bonus action, but that takes it too far. It makes it too good. So now it also costs a reaction, which I think fixes it. Instead of being flatly better than other bonus action options, it’s now competing with Uncanny Dodge and Shield and pportunity attacks and so on.
Loxodon rogue. Worked better than it sounded like it should. And yes, I did get to make jokes about the elephant in the room.
One of my all time favorite characters was a monk based loosely on friar tuck.
He was chaotic good, sit around the camp sharing booze and smoked turkey legs and all sorts of other things (that he largely stole,)
And also would rob you blind if he saw someone who needed clothes or food or what ever.
And the bonking. Oh. The bonking.
In L5R, I played a Scorpion Samurai that couldn’t lie. He survived 5 minutes into the game trying to warn the other players of an impending calamity.
Floridawoman Artificer, homebrew Firebug subclass. Before each session I looked up a bunch of headlines and added them to her character bio. Lots of fun to play actually
