Worst thing in the office place was when some idiot left their window open in the middle of Winter, temps fell below 0F with high winds, and froze the 2" sprinkler pipes running over their office. Flooded most of the 2nd floor then started running through and raining out onto the 1st floor (and then into the basement). And it happened during covid lock-downs so it was fortunate anyone was even in the building to report it.

My own personal oopsie was checking network cabling in a small room, bent over to check things low and then wandered out to check elsewhere… Then noticed there was a LOT of commotion on the sales floor. Turns out I hit the power switch on one of the phone cabinets with my ass and shut down half the phone lines.

Missing my first shift at a large retail store because of a misunderstanding. When I showed up the next week, the manager was furious. Not the best start

Nice try, HR.

Tripped and hit my arm on the maple syrup canning machine that heats a water jacket to 200 f and got a 2 inch diameter blister.

There were three women who were best friends, took their breaks together, etc. And in the Christmas season they wore matching knit sweaters and would walk down the hall side by side so it would read “Ho! Ho! Ho!”

But one day when I was leaving the break room, they approached… and one was out sick. Before I could stop myself I asked “Where’s the other Ho?”

Might’ve gotten a visit to HR from it if I hadn’t looked so shocked at myself.

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1. Alt tabbed once too many times, clicked drop database and yes. Deleted the live authentication DB for America’s Army: Operation video game.

2. Missed the word “add” in “switchport vlan add” on a switch, overwriting the list instead of appending to it. Took out the only connection between two datacenters we were in the process of migrating between. Took me 14 minutes to run to the datacenter, plug in a console cable and fix it.

A put a hole in the side of a helicopter that left it grounded for a week.

I accidentally tapped it with another piece of the helicopter. I’m happily working on helicopters that are made of metal now, so no more of that nonsense.

Edit: also, honorable mention because it wasn’t my fault, but I made a helicopter drop an external fuel tank when it took off… by replacing a light bulb. It was on the button that makes the helicopter drop the external tanks, but there are failsafes so it will only do it in the air. Apparently the internal switch got stuck, so the second the weight was off of the wheels CLONK… and a tank was laying on the active runway. Excellent.

Many years ago, I worked in a call center. I was sitting with someone who was new helping them take calls and both of our headsets were plugged into the phone. The trainee was helping a store employee and she was just being awful to him. While she went to get something from the customer, I muted the line and said, “God, what a bitch!” except my finger was hovering over the button and I hit it just in time for her to hear me say bitch. I fully panicked and hung up on her. Nobody ever said anything to either of us and this was back when landlines would occasionally cross, so hopefully she thought that’s what happened since she hadn’t heard my voice up until then.

Anyway, I’m pretty sure that’s the origin of why I still don’t trust mute or hold to this day. I’m not talking shit until I know that call is disconnected.

Worked, after hours from home, on a Windows Server and fixed and issue with the Database on there. After doing so i thought I’d go to bed and shut down the machine… only I hadn’t yet left the RDP connection and shut the server down by Accident. Had to drive to work and start the server up again.

Years ago, when projectors were common in conference rooms. Someone was giving a practice presentation before the real deal in front of 80+ audience members. It was just our team of 8 or so the room for the dry run. In the middle of the presentation, there was a terrifyingly loud POP sound as the bulb blew out in the projector. It scared the shit out of everyone in the room. We all laughed after the initial shock wore off.

One of my coworkers stepped up on a table to take a look at it. I was near him and I waited for silence in the room while he was fucking with the thing, and clapped my hands together very loudly, simulating the previous scare. He let out a shriek of terror and clutched his chest. Everyone laughed. Eventually he laughed as well, but said something like “damn, that scared me.” Within a week he had a legit heart attack.

He was ultimately okay, but I still think about it. I know I didn’t cause it, but for a long time I couldn’t shake the guilty feeling that I contributed to it. Oops. Sorry Ken.

Way back as a line cook I was on saute and it was the season for soft shell crab. I had a full rail of tickets, and 2-14in. saute pans with oil heating up on full blast while I knelt down to grab the crabs from my prep cooler across from the range.

The 'roided up chef stepped over me to get to middle to expedite the rush, and grabbed one of the pans with now very hot oil in them…realizing that they had oil he stopped his motion but Newtons law kept the oil flowing, down onto my bare forearm, hand and how I was positioned my ankle.

The grill guy immediately took a pan of water and splashed my arm with it, rolled down my sleeve and soaked it…and as a bonus being a dumbass I finished the shift before driving myself to the ER. Some good blisters but fortunately no scarring, very little pain because it was kept covered.

Bonus bits: The hotel/golf resort just implemented a drug policy, and if you were injured or did 200 USD of damage you needed to take a drug test, which I did. Policy also stated that you wait 3 days not working for the results. This was the start of a very busy weekend with a car show on the golf course, etc, and every warm body was needed, I went in to work the next day and if they wanted to send someone else for a drug test because they caused the accident, I suggested the ill tempered redheaded café chef…my results were discarded later.

Bonus bonus, right after the policy was put in place, a manager dropped a chandelier & walked away from his job after 5 years working there instead of taking the drug test.

Was working in a deli department of a grocery store. I think it was my second or third week there, and i was slicing balogna for a customer. Went to peel some of the casing off and got the tip of my thumb instead. Still think the lady who unkindly yanked my stitches out at the urgent care caused the lil flap to come off. It was 2009 and I’m actually impressed i got some tactile feeling back through the scar. I swear it fucks with the touch screen though.

Tripped and dropped a box, worth approximately $220,000 today, of extremely precise tooling meant for a cutting die. I was on my way to my bench to wrap them up safely. Boss was not pleased that day.

Pushed to prod