Honestly, if I can afford it I’m getting it to them whenever other parents are getting it to their kids.
There were plenty of parents who held off on getting things like TV, the Internet, and it had no pronounced effect.
My buddy just had a kid and proudly said “they’re never getting a smartphone.” And I was like “dude you slept over my house to watch porn because you didn’t have Internet in the 90s. You do you, but like… Idk. That won’t go the way you think it will.”
How old are your kids now?
Are you sure it didn’t have any effect? I have seen some kids who wouldn’t put their phone away when they are walking, when they are talking to others , etc. Their attention span is so low they cant even concentrate.
Also the dangers of the internet and what stuff you can find. I will give them a phone when they are old enough to understand that. Maybe 15 -16
Yes, I’m sure. This is a tale as old as time.
Same was said of newspapers. Same was said of television. Same was said of videogames. Same was said of the internet.
Humans get new tool. Old people who grew up without tool look down on young for overusing tool.
I mean sometimes it has /some/ effect. I’m in my late 20s, so was a kid somewhat recently. We grew up without television. We had movies, and we had the Internet, but no TV. My dad didn’t want us mindlessly wasting time on stuff we weren’t even interested in just because it was what was “on right now.” Not to mention the accumulative hours of watching ads.
We all ended up more creative and artistic than our peers, and my relationships with my siblings are stronger than those of my friends. We read a lot (though people I knew with TV also often read a lot so I don’t think that’s necessarily a given, though I know I myself would not have been regularly reading a book a day in middle school if TV had been an option)
I’m just saying limiting time wasted on media is often net positive.
Unrelated to the question but can we please drop the Reddit habit of adding “of Lemmy” to the question? You’re asking Lemmy, no need to add it to every question.
No ill will to OP!
I agree, because these posts have reach beyond just Lemmy, it’s the whole fediverse. No need to address just one platform
Agreed, it’s so cringe
My kids are grown now so my comment probably isn’t all that relevant anymore, but I don’t think there should be a set age to give your kid a smart phone. Different kids mature and learn at different ages, even ones from the same household.
For my kids, I got them their first phones in their early teens but those phones were somewhat restricted so that we could still communicate easily but we knew they couldn’t get into too much trouble with them. As time progressed the restrictions slowly lifted as we knew we could trust them more to not get into trouble with them.
I’ve always believed it’s not a parents duty to protect their child from the world as much as it is to prepare them for it. Of course kids are going to make stupid decisions if you let them go too far (we all have) so I think it’s more about slowly easing them into things and helping them make the right decisions the best we can.
Exactly. You can’t just say that X age is too young to get a phone, because age doesn’t determine the kid’s level of resposibility or their ability to practice healthy phone usage and internet safety. And also some kids simply need a phone more than others.
Tbh kids have zero idea of what’s out there… controlling their exposure IS important. shitty, but important!
3 kids. 13, 11 and 11 now. 10 years old was what my ex and I did with data plans coming a year after that.
Phone is like any other tool. It is my job as a parent to teach my children the proper way to use it.
Small advertising for !parenting@lemmy.world
Thanks! Subscribed! 😀
We gave my son a smart phone at 8, because his mother and I lived in different states and he flew as an unaccompanied minor a LOT. I also lived in Oakland and I wanted to be able to reach him and to know where he was when he was with me.
We had strict rules about when he was allowed to have it on and when he was not allowed to NOT have it. We also didn’t get him a data plan and made him use Wifi.
As a result of him actually being impressively responsible with that phone, we turned on the data and relaxed the rules probably years earlier than we would have under other circumstances.
It’s shown in school that kids who get phones and tablets before 5 have a hard time using computers with a keyboard and mouse interface.
Having a dumb phone is a current consideration. We have a smart phone on a separate carrier that we loan to a kid on an as needed basis like sleep overs so they can contact us in an emergency.
I’ve told the kids I’ll buy them a smart phone when they can afford the monthly service. It’s not that I can’t, it’s that they will need to learn how to manage money, and having to pay for my pager in the 90s was a good start for me. Not getting it sooner means it won’t feel like a punishment when they start.
They probably said the same thing about riding horses when cars became popular.
Probably but that’s a pretty poor comparison unless you think there’s a near future where the keyboard and mouse interface is relegated to hobbyists. Being able to touch type and work on a multitasking computer are not requirements for all jobs, but will be required skills for a long time for a lot of jobs.
I’ve got twin girls. We held off on smartphones until this past summer when they turned 13.
One couldn’t wait to have a smart phone and now handles her own entire social life through it and is happier than ever now that she can communicate with her friends non stop.
The other simply did not want a phone. We asked a dozen times and she said she wasn’t interested in one and didn’t think she would use it. Since she’s with her twin 75% of the time anyway we decided not to push.
Chaperoned a group of 13-14 yo 8th graders to a school-organized out-of-state civics trip. Only one kid out of ten didn’t have a smartphone. 🤷🏻♂️
We got ours a flip-phone around 11 to coordinate after-school pickup, then a smartphone at 13, mainly because of involvement in cross-country and wanting to know where the kid was. Social apps or gaming with strangers will be disabled until 16.
deleted by creator
My kids are 5, and Im not sure it’s on the horizon in the next few years. There are no answers here, but I have the same question and have been wondering about how others approach this.
I didn’t haven’t my first phone until 25, and it’s a different, much more connected world now, however.
A family I know give their kids limited screen time per day on the home laptops. No phones yet.
Teach them how to use a computer first. Phones are very easy to learn eventually
My dad used to throw documents at me to type. They where soo random, I could have sworn I was in his pissing list or something.
Now? I’m thankful! dude i can type fast
When they started staying after school for functions like choir or sports and I wanted them to have a way to tell me they were done. It was for their safety but also for my own selfish reasons. Win win.
I would keep a small dumb phone as a family phone for when kids go on trips and sleep overs. They get a personal smartphone at around the age of 16 or 18.
My son has had access to an iPhone 6s and iPad 2 since he was 1 or so (7 now). His devices have always been moderated to prevent him from seeing inappropriate content whether by accident or on purpose, and as he gets older I ease up on the restrictions. We have had little to no issue with him being attached to the devices, and my opinion is because he had mostly free reign over his usage barring bedtime. Even to this day he prefers to be outside playing.
I’m sure we’re all familiar with getting something we all wanted later in life than most people. We get super attached. I did get my son an Xbox one rather late (he had wanted one for at least a year before he got one), and he is attached to that. Because he spent a good amount of time dreaming and fantasizing about it.
My son is also high functioning autistic, (as am I), if that means anything. But this is my parenting style. Allow freedom within reasonable limits to promote individuality, unlike my parents. He sometimes watches the dumbest stuff on YouTube, but we all did and do. It’s not up to me to mold his sense of humor, I just make sure it’s appropriate for his age. Regardless if I think it’s dumb or not. I’m not 7 anymore.
For any new parents out there, current recommendation from the American Academy of Pediatrics is basically don’t give children under 2 years old any solo digital media time. Meaning no tablet babysitter when you’re cooking, driving etc.
https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/childrens-health/in-depth/screen-time/art-20047952
Apple Watch with a cellular calling plan when he started walking to school by himself, at age 8. No need for a proper phone for a while.
