Small advertising for !parenting@lemmy.world
Thanks! Subscribed! 😀
We gave my son a smart phone at 8, because his mother and I lived in different states and he flew as an unaccompanied minor a LOT. I also lived in Oakland and I wanted to be able to reach him and to know where he was when he was with me.
We had strict rules about when he was allowed to have it on and when he was not allowed to NOT have it. We also didn’t get him a data plan and made him use Wifi.
As a result of him actually being impressively responsible with that phone, we turned on the data and relaxed the rules probably years earlier than we would have under other circumstances.
Unrelated to the question but can we please drop the Reddit habit of adding “of Lemmy” to the question? You’re asking Lemmy, no need to add it to every question.
No ill will to OP!
I agree, because these posts have reach beyond just Lemmy, it’s the whole fediverse. No need to address just one platform
Agreed, it’s so cringe
Honestly, if I can afford it I’m getting it to them whenever other parents are getting it to their kids.
There were plenty of parents who held off on getting things like TV, the Internet, and it had no pronounced effect.
My buddy just had a kid and proudly said “they’re never getting a smartphone.” And I was like “dude you slept over my house to watch porn because you didn’t have Internet in the 90s. You do you, but like… Idk. That won’t go the way you think it will.”
Are you sure it didn’t have any effect? I have seen some kids who wouldn’t put their phone away when they are walking, when they are talking to others , etc. Their attention span is so low they cant even concentrate.
Also the dangers of the internet and what stuff you can find. I will give them a phone when they are old enough to understand that. Maybe 15 -16
Yes, I’m sure. This is a tale as old as time.
Same was said of newspapers. Same was said of television. Same was said of videogames. Same was said of the internet.
Humans get new tool. Old people who grew up without tool look down on young for overusing tool.
I mean sometimes it has /some/ effect. I’m in my late 20s, so was a kid somewhat recently. We grew up without television. We had movies, and we had the Internet, but no TV. My dad didn’t want us mindlessly wasting time on stuff we weren’t even interested in just because it was what was “on right now.” Not to mention the accumulative hours of watching ads.
We all ended up more creative and artistic than our peers, and my relationships with my siblings are stronger than those of my friends. We read a lot (though people I knew with TV also often read a lot so I don’t think that’s necessarily a given, though I know I myself would not have been regularly reading a book a day in middle school if TV had been an option)
I’m just saying limiting time wasted on media is often net positive.
How old are your kids now?
It’s shown in school that kids who get phones and tablets before 5 have a hard time using computers with a keyboard and mouse interface.
Having a dumb phone is a current consideration. We have a smart phone on a separate carrier that we loan to a kid on an as needed basis like sleep overs so they can contact us in an emergency.
I’ve told the kids I’ll buy them a smart phone when they can afford the monthly service. It’s not that I can’t, it’s that they will need to learn how to manage money, and having to pay for my pager in the 90s was a good start for me. Not getting it sooner means it won’t feel like a punishment when they start.
They probably said the same thing about riding horses when cars became popular.
Probably but that’s a pretty poor comparison unless you think there’s a near future where the keyboard and mouse interface is relegated to hobbyists. Being able to touch type and work on a multitasking computer are not requirements for all jobs, but will be required skills for a long time for a lot of jobs.
3 kids. 13, 11 and 11 now. 10 years old was what my ex and I did with data plans coming a year after that.
Phone is like any other tool. It is my job as a parent to teach my children the proper way to use it.
My kids are grown now so my comment probably isn’t all that relevant anymore, but I don’t think there should be a set age to give your kid a smart phone. Different kids mature and learn at different ages, even ones from the same household.
For my kids, I got them their first phones in their early teens but those phones were somewhat restricted so that we could still communicate easily but we knew they couldn’t get into too much trouble with them. As time progressed the restrictions slowly lifted as we knew we could trust them more to not get into trouble with them.
I’ve always believed it’s not a parents duty to protect their child from the world as much as it is to prepare them for it. Of course kids are going to make stupid decisions if you let them go too far (we all have) so I think it’s more about slowly easing them into things and helping them make the right decisions the best we can.
Exactly. You can’t just say that X age is too young to get a phone, because age doesn’t determine the kid’s level of resposibility or their ability to practice healthy phone usage and internet safety. And also some kids simply need a phone more than others.
Tbh kids have zero idea of what’s out there… controlling their exposure IS important. shitty, but important!
My wife and I had this conversation the other day. Our kid is only two right now, but as we’ve learned, these milestones sneak up on you.
I used my own life as a guide to my opinion, and so landed on age eight or so. That’s around the age I remember being able to go to the park or to a friend’s house within the neighbourhood on my own.
Other questions about how much functionality the phone would have and how much access they would have to it at home are still to be determined.
I guess my kid was 16 when he got his first cell phone. I was 26 before I got my first cell phone. Being older solved this difficult problem for me.
I would keep a small dumb phone as a family phone for when kids go on trips and sleep overs. They get a personal smartphone at around the age of 16 or 18.
As a non parent of Lemmy I would give my fake daughter a clay tablet at the age of 13
You know if my fake kids were ever to remark that I was abusive I would like it to be because of not buying them phone. Id love to be a fly on the wall of that therapy session
Mine is almost 12 and I’m not sure she is ready for that. She has an iPad now and her friends all chat via Discord. I have an old phone for 911 calls only.
My kids are 5, and Im not sure it’s on the horizon in the next few years. There are no answers here, but I have the same question and have been wondering about how others approach this.
I didn’t haven’t my first phone until 25, and it’s a different, much more connected world now, however.
A family I know give their kids limited screen time per day on the home laptops. No phones yet.
Teach them how to use a computer first. Phones are very easy to learn eventually
My dad used to throw documents at me to type. They where soo random, I could have sworn I was in his pissing list or something.
Now? I’m thankful! dude i can type fast
Four kids, smartphone distribution from top to bottom was about 15, 14, 14, 12. It was all of course dependent on the age of the kid and the ability to cope with the immense wealth of bullshit you get from having a smartphone.
Apple Watch with a cellular calling plan when he started walking to school by himself, at age 8. No need for a proper phone for a while.
