I’ll bite. I had a brother with special needs pass away a year ago next week. He was born with cerebral palsy, was blind, nonverbal, totally dependent on caretakers (myself, my siblings and mother, his nurses) for literally everything since he didn’t have functionally-independent motor control. We were told he’d live to 10, and he lived to 29; he was a bundle of joy and loved going out when he could. People would stare and kids would ask questions, but we loved sharing his story and my brother liked when people were curious about it.
But, his health started declining in 2014. He had several close calls, and we told doctors each time to try their best with the circumstances they were given. On more than one occasion, his nurses or our mother would actually be with the doctors during hospital stays to assist with him since he was case they didn’t have much experience in and didn’t want to make his issues worse. That said, he had a DNR (Do Not Resuscitate) since he had a trache, and was brittle enough to die from chest compressions.
I prepped for my brother’s death countless times over 8 years. We all did. When he passed, we were so obviously distraught. But we were also relieved, in a way, that he wasn’t in pain anymore in the end. We let out our emotions that had been stored for those years, and the grieving process is still continuing. We all put our lives on hold to help him, and he just became our lives; our goal simply was to make him comfortable and let him know he was loved, knowing we couldn’t realistically do more. We spent years watching him in pain, watching him gradually lose his fervor and personality.
If you read this far, thank you. Not really sure what else to say, I just want to share this since it’s occupied my mind a lot.
TLDR; Preparing for the worst outcomes, coupled with grief, over prolonged periods of time really disrupt your emotions and outlooks. Needless to say, my family became stronger proponents of state-assisted suicide after this experience. It couldn’t be granted to my brother, but maybe we can help people in the future that coupd really use it. People understand, but not nearly as many are truly empathetic because they can’t be - they’ve never been through a similar experience. I simply ask that people try to be sympathetic rather than to pass judgement on others.
The one cause that I’d champion over all others is the right to have access to assisted suicide.
It’s really a travesty how we tend to hide just how grisly dying (and in some cases living) can be, and how those who most go through it inherently lose their voices to advocate for others not suffering the same drawn out fate.
I’m sorry you had to watch as it dragged out.
My SO is a doctor and the cases that most upset them are not the healthy patients that die, but helplessly watching the unhealthy patients that are forced to drag on living because of various factors.
We’re getting much better at unnaturally prolonging life, and while that’s a good thing in some cases where it can change outcomes for the better, there’s a very dark side of it as well that’s gradually getting worse.
Know that it’s not a topic that only you are thinking about, even if it’s unfortunately a topic that is too rarely discussed in public.
I’m deeply sorry for your loss. I am a hospital chaplain, so I have been with families as their loved ones have died in settings like this. If you want to talk to someone, I’m here for you.
I understand the weird feeling of relief when someone dies. I know that sounds terrible. My situation was not yours, so I’m not directly comparing. One of my parents had long, slow cancer. Watching them waste away, choosing to fight a symptom or not, was draining and difficult. In one sense, I enjoyed all of those final moments and would give anything to have more. I miss them dearly. However, I’m glad they’re not suffering. It was difficult at the end. Their quality of life was not good.
I can’t relate nor comprehend your loss. You are so thoughtful and brave to put this out there. Sending lots of love your way.
I wouldn’t say nobody, but I would say the people that dominate the area I’m trying to volunteer and work in.
I work in a healing center where there are 29 women on staff and 1 man.
I cannot get these people to understand that as much as they want to push forward social movements, which I very much agree with, this must not come at the expense of men who are trying to heal.
I will literally have counselors co-facilitating with me, who want to make every point about how women are oppressed, pushed down in the workforce, face issues.
I’m not in denial of those, but no man coming into a healing environment to work on themselves, be vulnerable, and explore their own journey, needs to hear how much men are shitty.
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It’s insane, I even made a complaint to the director who of course is a woman, and she effectively denied that it was happening or could happen.
I told her I don’t even want people not to think these things, everybody who is in their own place of trauma has to get their shit off their chest.
All I wanted was a place where men didn’t have to hear this crap.
And that’s being incredibly neutral in my opinion because there are a lot of opportunities for men to talk about just how insane and shitty women can be. But I don’t want to talk about those things, I just want them to stop shit talking men especially their own clientele.
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This is a ridiculous comment. If you can’t handle the way your actions affect others than get out. If you think you know how to “heal” better than nurses then go do it yourself
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Strawmanning
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putting out the fire of gender inequality with oil
its interesting how when people are a majority they dont see the irony in their actions.
There are many jobs that I don’t bother to apply for despite knowing I’d excel and enjoy it, simply because I’m male. Many people aren’t comfortable with males in certain roles. Obviously the reverse is true and disproportionate but most people seem to be oblivious that men are oppressed too.
That’s an excellent point and it’s one of these elephants in the room that people can’t see.
Does anybody wonder why there’s virtually no male kindergarten teachers? Convicted before the crime as if women have never acted inappropriately towards children?! I mean for fuck sakes my own mother sexually abused me.
If you’ve ever known any male nurses, they will tell you the stories of being outnumbered 30 to 1 at minimum, and then facing constant sexual harassment, abuse, and career suppression because of their gender.
And my own story, I work in a system of power, the healing sector, which is dominated by women. And as the one guy they’re trying to do the right thing and serve men, we face nothing but abuse. It is driving me out.
Exactly. You can see this on various aspects of life. Racism, sexism, etc. Many use them as excuse to throw out the baby with the bath water.
I disagree. If someone isn’t able to handle the way their actions affect others then they shouldn’t be around others
I’m sure other people out there understand this, but like I’m such a sinkhole right now. I lost my job a few months ago, and I am trying so hard to get another one but its just not happening. I feel like I’m always hitting like 2nd or 3rd place in the lineup. The interviews go well, get call backs, then boom last minute they went with the other candidate. And everyone is telling me I’ll be okay cause they say I’m smart and have skills.
But it doesn’t matter, I’m broke, my medications running out, I’m tired, I have bills, everything hurts, I have no insurance, and I don’t want to be a leech and already my boyfriend has picked up the rent and stuff, but like he has his own bills.
I just don’t understand, why does shit have to keep happening, can’t it just settle for like 5 minutes so u can catch up. I feel like I haven’t been able to breath in years, and there is something that everyone else is in on that my autism doesn’t let me understand, and I’m just… idk anymore.
I’m bleh.
I learned recently how the James Webb Space Telescope is not orbiting around Earth but literally orbiting around an empty point in space. I don’t think I even quite understand it, but it’s really cool
I think they did that on purpose
Converting a high resolution photo scanner into a large format digital camera
There’s a lot that goes into it and I’m still fairly early in the process but it is possible and has been done before
I already have some lenses that will cover the whole scanner bed, it’s mostly a question of power at this point
only thing i don’t understand about it is why are you dong this
Perhaps a huge sensor like that is good for night/astrophotography
Not so much really, it would be more capable for like landscapes and architecture due to the time frame it’d take pictures in
so you’re really trading long exposure time + large size for extremely high resolution, that’s pretty cool actually
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How does a single person commit mass suicide?
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That’s called murder-suicide.
Well she has mass.
There’s a Yo Momma joke in there sonewhere
Cybersecurity, as a profession, is a fool’s errand.
Dedicated security staff exist solely to teach real engineers how to do their job, and the fact that such personnel exist is a catastrophic failure in computer science curriculum
I don’t know if I am right but I am of the opinion that Cybersecurity should be considered a mastery branch on top of basic engineering skills. But it feels like there are so many Cybersecurity experts who do not understand enough about the underlying engineering concepts to be effective in their role.
I’ve been dealing with this back pain under my right shoulder blade for like 6 years or so and I can’t seem to figure out what’s causing it or how to treat it. I think it’s called “rhomboid pain”. I’ve seen a doctor once and physical therapist twice and the best they can do is recommend I stretch and go get a massage. Yeah thanks guys. Totally haven’t tried any of that.
I’ve always had a bad posture but it’s been getting better yet the pain has gotten worse so I don’t think it’s that. I doubt it’s weight lifting either because I had been lifting for almost 10 years before the pain appeared and taking a break doesn’t make it better and lifting heavy doesn’t make it worse. I don’t think it’s mountain biking either because the pain started before I bought my bike. I also got a new bed, tried different pillows, tried sleeping on my back, pillow under my knees. Sleeping on both sides with a pillow between my legs. Nothing. Also it’s rarely bad in the mornings but rather on the evenings.
Well - it’s still early to say, but I have a new idea what might be causing it and I think this might actually be it. I think it’s because I switched from a desktop computer to laptop. It perfectly correlates with the time I started experiencing this pain. I now sit for hours and hours every day with my right hand extended to reach the trackpad. It has to be that. I now switched to mouse and a keyboard and let’s see if that makes a difference. Only been doing that for few days now but I have zero pain right now.
I have had chest discomfort for decades. I’m 46 and it started when I was about 25. Doctors never found anything. I’m lucky to have good benefits and have been going to masseuses for over 10 years.
A couple of years ago tried a new masseuse mentioned the tightness and she found a huge lump of scar tissue she massaged out. I’m still not perfect but I’m light-years better.
My point is, get a massage and never give up. You just need to find the right person to find it.
Dude, that’s exactly what it is. I get the exact same pain when I’m editing on my laptop. I swapped out for a trackball myself. I can type all day long because I can get things set up to eliminate that strain, but editing takes a lot more awkward movement using the trackpad.
I like a trackpad, they’re convenient as heck, but they just aren’t good for sustained use imo.
Do you keep your wallet in your back pocket when sitting?
Nope. Thanks though.
I was getting something similar a few months back and it’s funny you mention a laptop because I started using one around the time my pain appeared, I think I was a bad knot in my muscle, I helped it go away by lying down on a tennis ball and massaging it out, hope ya find some relief dude.
For anyone wanting to try this tennis ball thing, that might not give you enough of what you’re looking for. Lacrosse balls offer less resistance and more pressure
Yep. I even got this back when cleaners moved my mouse from in front of key keyboard spacebar to the right of the keypad, until I noticed what had happened.
I put my mouse between my body and the keyboard and it goes away.
Good luck!
I hope the new keyboard and mouse do the trick! I also was experiencing wrist/arm/shoulder pain after I started working primarily on a laptop. I got a split keyboard that i can angle in a more ergonomic manner, and that single change cleared my pain up. Repetitive stress injuries suck. and I hope you find relief with your new work setup.
It probably doesn’t help that I’m also literally sitting in front of my dining table on a shitty chair, but it’s not like I had some super ergonomic computer station before either. I really hope this helps because otherwise I’m out of ideas.
I would definitely suggest getting a good chair. Being able to adjust the height and stuff is really important, especiallyfor shoulder pain. Take a look at used gaming chairs and/or keep an eye out for recently discontinued models at brick-and-mortar office supply stores (mine was super cheap because they only had the floor model left).
Track pads suck, I hope this solve your problem
why doesn’t Radiohead put out an entire album of songs like pulk/pull revolving doors? they had a really unique and cohesive idm sound going and kinda dropped it to the side
Ok ok. Unexpected comment. Respect.
A couple of weeks ago my wife and I got jiggy for the first time in five years. After our third kid she just went completely off it and we’ve been in a dead bedroom situation ever since, she told me how she felt and despite my frustration I understood and respected her wishes. A couple of weeks ago I just opened up about how I was feeling unloved and then blam! It happened out of nowhere. I was in a daze and couldn’t believe it. Now I’m scared it’s going to be five years before it happens again.
I know this is just a thread to vent, but I really want you to focus on the fact that communicating how you felt helped the situation so much. Please don’t wait 5 more years to try that again.
From the way I read his comment, Im sure he communicated plenty.
How it feels to never have had anyone in my life that I could just randomly call up and talk about happy and sad things with.
If you’re really set out on doing this I’d gladly make the call
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Yeah… Flatpaks are nice, but slow and sometimes broken (I guess mostly depending on how the rest of your system looks like.) On the other hand, I hate adding 3rd party repositories; it feels weird and messy. It’s a complex matter indeed.
I replaced the back wheel bearing hub on my Celica, but yet I can still hear the droning noise. What gives?
Is it a rear wheel drive? Maybe your differential is worn. I hope not because that’s expensive to fix.
It’s front wheel drive
It’s very common that in modern virtual worlds there’s 4th wall breaking Easter Eggs buried in the world lore.
Years ago, I got to wondering if something like that might exist in our own universe, and fairly quickly found something that far exceeded my wildest expectations for what I might find meeting that criteria.
But there’s so many layers of bias connected to the concept that I really doubt anyone will ever take a serious look.
Some will just reject by default the notion that they aren’t in an original reality.
Others will reject the notion that something connected to an (in)famous world religion and religious figure could reflect metaphysical truth, even though many of those parallel lore examples happen to tie into their respective lore’s religious beliefs (usually a fitting place for meanderings about the creation or purpose of one’s universe).
I’ve studied it for years now, found all sorts of surprising things from an explicit discussion of survival of the fittest in antiquity or the idea of an original humanity evolving spontaneously bringing forth an intelligent being of light which then recreated a twin of the whole universe.
Which is pretty weird in an age where there’s increasing investments into photonics specifically for AI which is in turn powering digital twins and articles like this.
So we are discussing the ideas of these kinds of things happening in the future, and meanwhile there’s a tradition from antiquity centered around a document “the good news of the twin” that claims the most famous religious figure in history was saying we’re already in the future but are in a non-physical copy of the earlier cosmos in the archetypes of a long dead humanity, duplicated by a being of light that the original humanity brought forth.
Like, I guess I just don’t think the odds of that being the case in a random original reality are particularly high, and think it’s much more likely that such claims represent the same kind of 4th wall breaking lore manipulation we see in multiple modern virtual worlds.
But I don’t know that there’s anyone that’s genuinely interested in knowing or discussing those details. So it’s just a personal investigation as someone who is very interested in knowing those details to the extent they can actually be known.
TL;DR OP becomes religious in his search for video game Easter eggs.
‘religious’
That’s where quantum indetermancy comes from. No one, not even the first intelligence, gets floating point right
Well, in this case the first intelligence was basically us. Though perhaps a not quantized version of us. Which I don’t think makes much of a difference in our math competency (even if a very big difference in computing capability).
dude, put down meth-jesus pipe and pick up anthropology of religion 101
I’ve spent a fair bit of time looking at the academic background of the religious tradition ranging from things like this to this thread.
you’ve linked the same thread twice
and i mean taking broader perspective, personally i like 10000 years long perspective
Fixed.
And yeah, I’ve studied that too, from pre-history to the Sumerians. I’m not really sure what’s your point?
For example, there’s only one extant text from antiquity explicitly describing the idea of evolution. And only one religious tradition citing that text. Which happens to also be the religious tradition claiming that an original humanity which arose spontaneously ended up creating the creator of our own cosmos, which is a copy of the one that occurred naturally.
Go ahead and show me what other religious tradition BCE was claiming things like “the cosmos and man existed from natural causes” along with “man later created God.”
If you actually study the history of religion, this one existing at all with the ideas it has is weird and anachronistic as shit.
Super interesting, I’d love to hear more details!
There’s a part of me that really wants something to take over my body or replace myself with an entirely different person who does all of the things I struggle with. Even if it wasn’t a person, if it did work and made my family and friends proud then I could stop struggling.
Oof.
I feel this all to well.
I highly recommend reading https://www.strugglecare.com/book .
It’s not self-help. It’s not going to “fix” you.
But reading it was some of the best therapy I’ve ever received. If you’re at all like me, maybe it will help you too. I am happier, as are the people I love and who love me, in large part because of K.C. Davis’ philosophy. (The people I love and who love me are also very empathetic and understanding, which I know is definitely not true for most people unfortunately).
It’s less than $20.
It’s short.
Buy it. If you can’t afford it, I might even be willing to buy it for you / venmo you $20 to get it.
Also available in your library / Libby.
Also available as an audiobook.
This is kinda similar to the plot of the show “Severance.”
