When my grandmother met my now wife, who is from Alabama, my grandmother told her “well, we all have to be from somewhere”
As someone who’s family is from Alabama, I hard agree with your grandma. Where was she from? And can I steal her line?
My grandma was from the Midwest, mostly South Dakota. My grandma was very sweet and so it really cracked us up when she said that.
That to me sounds like a very northern state phrase. I can absolutely hear my grandma saying that (not saying you/they are, just made me smile thinking of that)
“You don’t have to shovel rain.” - My grandfather when asked why he moved the family from Wisconsin to Oregon.
Now, that’s wisdom I can get behind! 🤙🏼 (raised out yonder in the mitten, now happily left coast rooted)
My grandmother used to say: if you expect your good deed to be reciprocated, you’re not actually doing a good deed.
She said it in dutch, so I hope it’s an decent translation.
I’ve heard this one put similarly: “If you’re looking for something in return, even your good deeds are an extension of your selfishness.”
My grandma would say “he can put his boots at the foot of my bed.” My grandma had the hots for lots of younger country singers.
My mom used to say Robert Redford could park his shoes under her bed anytime.
My grandpa had a million one liners, most were somewhat inappropriate but here’s a fun one. He’d say, “Did anyone get hurt in that wreck?” To any of my friends that drove over. When they inevitably asked “what wreck?” He’d say, “the one you pulled up in.” This was devastating to the ones who were super proud of their cars. Lol
From my mom, not my grandparents, but we’ve gotten a lot of mileage out of this one
“If I find it, can I hit you with it?”
Used when we were bugging her about not being able to find something. Don’t believe she ever made good on that threat, but it usually did it’s intended purpose of getting us to quit bugging her and find it ourselves. And if it was something we really needed help finding it would have been an acceptable trade-off.
My sister got a lot of use out of it with her college roommates and my wife and I use it with each other pretty regularly.
Removed by mod
Friend’s grandfather used to say…
The hurrier I go the behinder I get.
I love this, I’m gonna have to start using it when everyone is rushing and making silly mistakes at work
When he was talking about turning 100: “I can’t see, and I can’t hear, but I can still eat so I’m not going to die.”
He did indeed make it to 100.
Anything bad happens:
My grandad: “FLAMING JACKSAWS AND BUCKETS OF BLOOD!”
He was never in a metal band that I’m aware of.
In response to someone saying “oh my god” every single time, without fail:
“Well he’s my god too!”
My dad would say “my name is dad” to people saying “oh my god” to anything he did
My grandmother: “You can get glad in the same pants that you got mad in.”
Also, when you’re hurt: “it’ll feel better when it quits hurting.”
“A boat is a hole in the water you throw money in.” - Grandpa
“It’s like that for a while…then it gets worse.” - Grandpa
“Even the worst pizza is still pretty damn good.” - Grandpa
No idea if, or who, he may have stolen those sayings from but I’ll always remember him for them.
You make a better door than a window.
AKA move
We used to get that one too, also put wood in t’hole AKA shut the door
My grandmother said, “The time for tarts are when they’re passing.” She meant “take what’s offered when its offered,” but I want it printed on the programs at my funeral
But, will there be tarts?
I don’t mean to besmirch the original commenter’s honour, but I read it as the tart will be in the coffin, having passed.
Exactly!
I was just trying to get an invite. 🤪
All my grandparents passed when I was young and I didn’t know them well. However, my uncle quotes his father quite a bit. General advice “Never do anything you wouldn’t want to read about in the paper.” Whenever he offers you something, or is jokingly telling you why you shouldn’t do something “It will make your babies come out naked and screaming” Also my mom’s side of the family has a common last name and my grandfather stated that if we met another person that shared our last name that we could accept them as family if they were “reasonably dressed, moderately sober, and not asking for money”
